I just absolutely ADORE these little birds from Brooklyn! You can check them our for yourself here: http://brooklynparrots.com/
What this thing is still active?
16 years ago
Friday, February 29, 2008
Brooklyn Parrots
I just absolutely ADORE these little birds from Brooklyn! You can check them our for yourself here: http://brooklynparrots.com/
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Literary Words of Advice
IF
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you.
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired of waiting
Or be lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master,
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet your Triumph and Disaster,
and treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken,
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn out tools.
If you can make one heep of all your winnings,
And risk it on one turn of pitch and toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breath a word about your loss.
If you and force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will that says to them "Hold On!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much.
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
with 60 seconds worth of distance run.
Yours is the earth and everything that's in it
And- which is more- you'll be a man my son!
-- Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you.
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired of waiting
Or be lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master,
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet your Triumph and Disaster,
and treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken,
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn out tools.
If you can make one heep of all your winnings,
And risk it on one turn of pitch and toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breath a word about your loss.
If you and force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the will that says to them "Hold On!"
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much.
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
with 60 seconds worth of distance run.
Yours is the earth and everything that's in it
And- which is more- you'll be a man my son!
-- Rudyard Kipling
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Retired People
The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this?
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?
So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's *ss and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
(Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.)
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena the wonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant?
So since I'm retired, with little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's *ss and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!
WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore.
(Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.)
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
What's Your Names Hidden Meaning?
You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.
You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
Here's the link to find out what your names hidden meaning is:
http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.
You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.
People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.
You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.
You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.
You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.
Here's the link to find out what your names hidden meaning is:
http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyournameshiddenmeaningquiz/
Monday, February 25, 2008
How to Give a Cat a Pill
I don't care how many times I get this, it still makes me laugh until tears run!!
How To Give A Cat A Pill
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the d*mn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie the little brat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15 . Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from h*ll and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How To Give A Dog A Pill
1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Toss it in the air.
How To Give A Cat A Pill
1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door on to neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire department to retrieve the d*mn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie the little brat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15 . Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from h*ll and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
How To Give A Dog A Pill
1. Wrap it in bacon.
2. Toss it in the air.
Sunday, February 24, 2008
The Computer Swallowed Grandma
The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly its true!
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.
It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.
I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.
In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'
So, if inside your 'Inbox,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy,''Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me.
This is a tribute to all the Grandmas who have been fearless and learned to use the Computer. They are the greatest!!!
We do not stop playing because we grow old;
We do not stop playing because we grow old;
We grow old because we stop playing.
NEVER Be The First To Get Old!
(from my friend Carol)
What Did They Say?
(although they are cute, it's just a picture - they're not my girls"Snow? Are they sure? How could that possibly be? I have ordered spring for Pete's sake!!!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
A Wonderful Story
Two Horses
There is a field, with two horses in it.
From a distance, each horse looks like any other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing. Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. This alone is amazing.
If you stand nearby and listen, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to the horse's halter is a small bell. It lets the blind friend know where the other horse is, so he can follow.
As you stand and watch these two horses, you'll see that the horse with the bell is always checking on the blind horse, and that the blind horse will listen for the bell and then slowly walk to where the other horse is, trusting that he will not be led astray. When the horse with the bell returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, it stops occasionally and looks back, making sure that the blind friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell.
Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need. Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives. Other times we are the guide horse, helping others to find their way....
Good friends are like that... you may not always see them, but you know they are always there. Please listen for my bell and I'll listen for yours.
And remember...be kinder than necessary- everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly....
Leave the rest to God
There is a field, with two horses in it.
From a distance, each horse looks like any other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing. Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him. This alone is amazing.
If you stand nearby and listen, you will hear the sound of a bell. Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field. Attached to the horse's halter is a small bell. It lets the blind friend know where the other horse is, so he can follow.
As you stand and watch these two horses, you'll see that the horse with the bell is always checking on the blind horse, and that the blind horse will listen for the bell and then slowly walk to where the other horse is, trusting that he will not be led astray. When the horse with the bell returns to the shelter of the barn each evening, it stops occasionally and looks back, making sure that the blind friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell.
Like the owners of these two horses, God does not throw us away just because we are not perfect or because we have problems or challenges. He watches over us and even brings others into our lives to help us when we are in need. Sometimes we are the blind horse being guided by the little ringing bell of those who God places in our lives. Other times we are the guide horse, helping others to find their way....
Good friends are like that... you may not always see them, but you know they are always there. Please listen for my bell and I'll listen for yours.
And remember...be kinder than necessary- everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly....
Leave the rest to God
Friday, February 22, 2008
Dinner
My hubby and I went out to dinner with Mikey this evening. It wasn't anything fancy. We aren't the fancy type. It was nice just sitting there enjoying the food and talking. We don't get to do that often enough. I hope he enjoyed it because I sure know I did.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
A Cat Story
For anyone that needs a laugh today! You don't have to own a cat to get a hoot out of this guy's story!
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife (who doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night) explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away. "That stupid witch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat butt downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cab driver hit a parked car.
Live well, love much & laugh often - Be happy.
We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Year's Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.
My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife (who doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the night) explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said, as we drove away. "That stupid witch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat butt downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"
The cab driver hit a parked car.
Live well, love much & laugh often - Be happy.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Excitement in the House of the Flying Fur Balls!
(Title borrowed from my friend St. Blogwen)
I came in from work today and looked through my mail -- chucked the junk into the shred box and opened the bills and tried not to faint. Went down the hall to get the girls' food dishes and their food and brought them to the kitchen to wash up the bowls to prepare their dinner. The phone rang 3 times while I was trying to do this. Finally got started on washing their dishes when all of a sudden there was an uproar with the girls in the dining room -- and it wasn't with each other! Lo and behold Gidget was blocking and Miss Yoda was whamming something at lightening speed!! OH NO!!! Please tell me that isn't a mouse!!!! Whatever it was, it was squealing bloody murder. Oh dear!! Oh my!! Oh... wait... where did it go? Oh gosh. PLEASE don't let it be a mouse and PLEASE don't let it have escaped from Miss Yoda!!!
What's this? Miss Yoda is stalking the shred box???? But Yode.... there's nothing under that box. Honest. Here. Let me move it and show you. EEEEEEEKKKK!!!! Miss Yoda snatches it and runs down the hallway! Yoda! Oh Yoda! Good girl. Please come here, sweetheart. PLEASE don't take it into the bedroom. Oh. You've dropped it. Such a good girl! Please don't let it move.... Ah, it's dead. Let me get a paper towel. I take it to where the light is better.... IT'S NOT A MOUSE! IT'S A MOLE! How the heck did a mole get in my house?????
Well, not a mark on it, but it's deader than a door nail. Thank you very much!!
Miss Yoda is my hero!!! She got lots of treats. Oh. And Gidget? She was hiding!!! Too much excitement for her!
And the mole? It's outside in the trash. (I did think about having it mounted as a trophy for the girls.... but only for a moment.)
The end.
I came in from work today and looked through my mail -- chucked the junk into the shred box and opened the bills and tried not to faint. Went down the hall to get the girls' food dishes and their food and brought them to the kitchen to wash up the bowls to prepare their dinner. The phone rang 3 times while I was trying to do this. Finally got started on washing their dishes when all of a sudden there was an uproar with the girls in the dining room -- and it wasn't with each other! Lo and behold Gidget was blocking and Miss Yoda was whamming something at lightening speed!! OH NO!!! Please tell me that isn't a mouse!!!! Whatever it was, it was squealing bloody murder. Oh dear!! Oh my!! Oh... wait... where did it go? Oh gosh. PLEASE don't let it be a mouse and PLEASE don't let it have escaped from Miss Yoda!!!
What's this? Miss Yoda is stalking the shred box???? But Yode.... there's nothing under that box. Honest. Here. Let me move it and show you. EEEEEEEKKKK!!!! Miss Yoda snatches it and runs down the hallway! Yoda! Oh Yoda! Good girl. Please come here, sweetheart. PLEASE don't take it into the bedroom. Oh. You've dropped it. Such a good girl! Please don't let it move.... Ah, it's dead. Let me get a paper towel. I take it to where the light is better.... IT'S NOT A MOUSE! IT'S A MOLE! How the heck did a mole get in my house?????
Well, not a mark on it, but it's deader than a door nail. Thank you very much!!
Miss Yoda is my hero!!! She got lots of treats. Oh. And Gidget? She was hiding!!! Too much excitement for her!
And the mole? It's outside in the trash. (I did think about having it mounted as a trophy for the girls.... but only for a moment.)
The end.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Sunday, February 17, 2008
Cups of Tea
When I was a little girl, someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift and it was one of my favorite toys.
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea,' which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.
My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "just the cutest thing!"
My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then says, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place that she can reach to get water is the toilet???"
Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea,' which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.
My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch his little princess bring him a cup of tea, because it was, "just the cutest thing!"
My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up, then says, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place that she can reach to get water is the toilet???"
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Sunshine
It is such a beautiful day today. Even if it is only 18º, the sun is shining, the birds are all a-twitter, and the squirrels are sunning themselves in what is left of the big box elder tree in the backyard.
Drug
The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question. Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?"
I replied, I had a drug problem when I was young:
I was drug to church on Sunday morning.
I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.
I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.
I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.
I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.
I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity.
I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad's fields.
I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.
Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.
God bless the parents who drugged us!!!
I replied, I had a drug problem when I was young:
I was drug to church on Sunday morning.
I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.
I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.
I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to adults.
I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.
I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity.
I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad's fields.
I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.
Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.
God bless the parents who drugged us!!!
Friday, February 15, 2008
Marriage Secret...
Italian secret of a long marriage: At Saint Mary's Catholic Church they have a weekly husband's marriage seminar. At the session last week, the Priest asked Luigi, who was approaching his 50th wedding anniversary, to take a few minutes and share some insight into how he had managed to stay married to the same woman all these years.
Luigi replied to the assembled husands, "Well, I've a-tried to treat-a her nice, spend the money on her, but best of all is that I took-a her to Italy for the 20th anniversary!"
The Priest responded, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary."
Luigi proudly replied, "I'm a-gonna go and get her."
Luigi replied to the assembled husands, "Well, I've a-tried to treat-a her nice, spend the money on her, but best of all is that I took-a her to Italy for the 20th anniversary!"
The Priest responded, "Luigi, you are an amazing inspiration to all the husbands here! Please tell us what you are planning for your wife for your 50th anniversary."
Luigi proudly replied, "I'm a-gonna go and get her."
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Catholic Education
From my friend Carol...
Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything: tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school.
After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner. To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference.
Finally, little Zachary brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, little Zachary got an "A" in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?" Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no. "Well, then," she replied, "was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT ALREADY"
Little Zachary looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."
Little Zachary was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything: tutors, mentors, flash cards, special learning centers. In short, everything they could think of to help his math. Finally, in a last ditch effort, they took Zachary down and enrolled him in the local Catholic school.
After the first day, little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He didn't even kiss his mother hello. Instead, he went straight to his room and started studying. Books and papers were spread out all over the room and little Zachary was hard at work. His mother was amazed. She called him down to dinner. To her shock, the minute he was done, he marched back to his room without a word, and in no time, he was back hitting the books as hard as before. This went on for some time, day after day, while the mother tried to understand what made all the difference.
Finally, little Zachary brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table, went up to his room and hit the books. With great trepidation, his Mom looked at it and to her great surprise, little Zachary got an "A" in math. She could no longer hold her curiosity. She went to his room and said, "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?" Little Zachary looked at her and shook his head, no. "Well, then," she replied, "was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms? WHAT WAS IT ALREADY"
Little Zachary looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of school when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Learning New Stuff
I learned some new stuff! I see all this cool stuff on other people's blogs and most of the time I just drool.... but every once in awhile I just have to have it. I tried to figure this stuff out on my own, but sometimes the brain just doesn't work in this blog world. So, I resort to asking the lovely people who write the blogs that have the cools stuff if they would mind telling me how they put such cool things on their blog. And they were gracious enough to impart their knowledge.
Now, thanks to Mike at Foxcroft I have a neat counter on my blog and thanks to Dynochick at Gear Acres a "way-cool" (thanks, Devin Michael, for that phrase - he's my grandson that lives in TX) weather sticker.
How cool is that?!
Now, thanks to Mike at Foxcroft I have a neat counter on my blog and thanks to Dynochick at Gear Acres a "way-cool" (thanks, Devin Michael, for that phrase - he's my grandson that lives in TX) weather sticker.
How cool is that?!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Children's Logic:
'Give me a sentence about a public servant,' said a teacher. The small boy wrote: 'The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.' The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. 'Don't you know what pregnant means?' she asked. 'Sure,' said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child.'
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. 'They use him to keep crowds back,' said one child. 'No,' said another, 'he's just for good luck.' A third child brought the argument to a close. 'They use the dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find the fire hydrants...'
#####
A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. 'They use him to keep crowds back,' said one child. 'No,' said another, 'he's just for good luck.' A third child brought the argument to a close. 'They use the dogs,' she said firmly, 'to find the fire hydrants...'
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Brrrrrrr!!!
Can we say cold? It's 3º here with a -25º wind chill. And tomorrow is Monday and I can't hide under the covers from the cold here with the girls and go to work too. Sigh. I need June...
Saturday, February 9, 2008
A Step Back in Time
Most all these girls' dresses were made from flour sacks...
THE FLOUR SACK
BY COLLEEN B. HUBERT
IN THAT LONG AGO TIME WHEN THINGS WERE SAVED,
WHEN ROADS WERE GRAVELED AND BARRELS WERE STAVED,
WHEN WORN-OUT CLOTHING WAS USED AS RAGS,
AND THERE WERE NO PLASTIC WRAP OR BAGS,
AND THE WELL AND THE PUMP WERE WAY OUT BACK,
A VERSITILE ITEM, WAS THE FLOUR SACK.
PILLSBURY'S BEST, MOTHER'S AND GOLD MEDAL, TOO
STAMPED THEIR NAMES PROUDLY IN PURPLE AND BLUE.
THE STRING SEWN ON TOP WAS PULLED AND KEPT;
THE FLOUR EMPTIED AND SPILLS WERE SWEPT.
THE BAG WAS FOLDED AND STORED IN A SACK
THAT DURABLE, PRACTICAL FLOUR SACK.
THE SACK COULD BE FILLED WITH FEATHERS AND DOWN,
FOR A PILLOW, OR T'WOULD MAKE A NICE SLEEPING GOWN.
IT COULD CARRY A BOOK AND BE A SCHOOL BAG,
OR BECOME A MAIL SACK S LUNG OVER A NAG.
IT MADE A VERY CONVENIENT PACK,
THAT ADAPTABLE, COTTON FLOUR SACK.
BLEACHED AND SEWN, IT WAS DUTIFULLY WORN
AS BIBS, DIAPERS, OR KERCHIEF ADORNED.
IT WAS MADE INTO SKIRTS, BLOUSES AND SLIPS.
AND MOM BRAIDED RUGS FROM ONE HUNDRED STRIPS
SHE MADE RUFFLED CURTAINS FOR THE HOUSE OR SHACK,
FROM THAT HUMBLE BUT TREASURED FLOUR SACK!
AS A STRAINER FOR MILK OR APPLE JUICE,
TO WAVE MEN IN, IT WAS A VERY GOOD USE,
AS A SLING FOR A SPRAINED WRIST OR A BREAK,
TO HELP MOTHER ROLL UP A JELLY CAKE,
AS A WINDOW SHADE OR TO STUFF A CRACK,
WE USED A STURDY, COMMON FLOUR SACK!
AS DISH TOWELS, EMBROIDERED OR NOT,
THEY COVERED UP DOUGH, HELPED PASS PANS SO HOT,
TIED UP DISHES FOR NEIGHBORS IN NEED,
AND FOR MEN OUT IN THE FIELD TO SEED.
THEY DRIED DISHES FROM PAN, NOT RACK
THAT ABSORBENT, HANDY FLOUR SACK!
WE POLISHED AND CLEANED STOVE AND TABLE,
SCOURED AND SCRUBBED FROM CELLAR TO GABLE,
WE DUSTED THE BUREAU AND OAK BED POST,
MADE COSTUMES FOR OCTOBER (A SCARY GHOST)
AND A PARACHUTE FOR A CAT NAMED JACK.
FROM THAT LOWLY, USEFUL OLD FLOUR SACK!
SO NOW MY FRIENDS, WHEN THEY ASK YOU
SO NOW MY FRIENDS, WHEN THEY ASK YOU
AS CURIOUS YOUNGSTERS OFTEN DO,
'BEFORE PLASTIC WRAP, ELMERS GLUE
AND PAPER TOWELS, WHAT DID YOU DO?
'TELL THEM LOUDLY AND WITH PRIDE DON'T LACK,
'MOTHER' HAD THAT WONDERFUL FLOUR SACK!'
Friday, February 8, 2008
Good Housekeeping Tip Number 1
Always keep several get well cards on the mantle... So if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you've been sick and unable to clean.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Hoping....
I am hoping that all of my blogger friends that were near or in the path of those horrible storms have come out unscathed. I just could not believe the destruction. I am so sorry for the loss of lives... the loss of homes, churches, schools... and thankful that there weren't more people killed. I have come to care about all of the people whose blogs I read every day. They are very special people.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Black History Month
Piecing US Together
Unlike any place before it, the United States of America is made up of people who come from every corner of the world. The unique contributions of African Americans are highlighted during Black History Month. Here's what's coming up in Southeast Michigan.
The Henry Ford hosts Quilting Genius 2: The Improvisational Quilts of Susana Allen Hunter. Opening Friday, Feb. 15, the new exhibit will showcase 30 colorful and intriguing quilts created by Susana Allen Hunter from her experiences in the segregated South. The public is also invited to a the Quilting Genius Forum March 15, where a panel of experts will discuss the artistic expression of African-American quilters and the history their works preserve.
At The Henry Ford, take time to explore With Liberty & Justice for All, a groundbreaking exhibit that explores the proud and often painful evolution of America freedom from the Revolutionary War through the struggle for civil rights.
Making Prints, Telling Stories - The Artistry of Margaret Burroughs This exhibition features a selection of evocative prints by renowned artist Margaret Burroughs. Often characterized as examples of "social realism," the works affectionately capture the essence of Africa and the African Diaspora. While at the museum, you'll want to visit "And Still We Rise," the spectacular $12 million permanent exhibit that details in life-size displays the African American experience. The Charles H. Wright Museum of African American History is open Wednesdays through Sundays in February.
Black History Month at the DIA Celebrate Black History Month with great art, live music, poetry, storytelling and more at the New DIA. You'll find special programs, including a drop-in workshop, information for educators and big-screen films. Explore African American themed events, gallery tours, performances and activities Wednesdays through Sundays in February at the Detroit Institute of Arts.
The E. Azalia Hackley Concert The 64th Annual Hackley Concert presents the artistry of lyric baritone Robert Sims. Known for his moving interpretations of African American spirituals, Mr. Sims has appeared in operas and recitals throughout the United States. He performs Tuesday, Feb. 12 at the Main Branch of the Detroit Public Library.
Classical Roots Celebration IV This concert series celebrates African contributions to classical music. With resident conductor Thomas Wilkins and mezzo-soprano Denyce Graves, the program features Exegisis, a work by African-American composer Augustus Hill, Berlioz's Cleopatra and Detroit's own Brazeal Dennard Chorale. Performance is Saturday, Feb. 23, at the Max M. Fisher Music Center.
Grandma's Pharmacy This documentary highlights the life of Elizabeth Wize, the first African American woman to own a chain of pharmacies in Michigan. Today, she is 91 years young and still runs the business from Detroit's Medical district. The film was created by Elizabeth Greene, a Wayne State University graduate. Screens Saturday, Feb. 9, at the Detroit Historical Museum.
Annual African American Film Festival This inaugural film festival concentrates on classics of the big screen, featuring historical African American moving pictures from the 1930s and 40s. The films include "Emperor Jones" (starring Paul Robeson, photo), "Dirty Gertie from Harlem" and "The Green Pastures." Screenings Saturdays, Feb. 9 through Feb. 23, at the Pontiac Creative Arts Center.
Let My People Go! A Spiritual Journey Along the Underground Railroad The story of escaped slaves risking their lives for freedom comes to life through music, dance and storytelling. Presented by Rackham Symphony Choir with the Marygrove College Chorale and the Hartford Memorial Bach Choir, Donald McCullough's masterwork explores the coded language hidden within the spirituals that helped slaves escape. Performances Friday, Feb. 29 and Saturday, March 1, at Marygrove College.
For more Black History Month events, click here. We will update the GreatStuff special section as we receive more information in the coming month.
From GreatStuff
Michigan holds a special place in the African American experience. Automotive pioneer Henry Ford was the first American industrialist to offer blacks work and pay comparable to whites, a fundamental part of economic and social equality. Get the details in "Working Side by Side," an article from Michigan History magazine by University of Michigan professor David L. Lewis. The image at left of the Ford Rouge Plant is by American photographer Charles Sheeler. Click here or on the title above to read the article.
The nation's Black History Month is not just for discovering the story of African Americans. It is the story of Michigan and the story of America. It is our story.
Unlike any place before it, the United States of America is made up of people who come from every corner of the world. The unique contributions of African Americans are highlighted during Black History Month. Here's what's coming up in Southeast Michigan.
The Henry Ford hosts Quilting Genius 2: The Improvisational Quilts of Susana Allen Hunter. Opening Friday, Feb. 15, the new exhibit will showcase 30 colorful and intriguing quilts created by Susana Allen Hunter from her experiences in the segregated South. The public is also invited to a the Quilting Genius Forum March 15, where a panel of experts will discuss the artistic expression of African-American quilters and the history their works preserve.
At The Henry Ford, take time to explore With Liberty & Justice for All, a groundbreaking exhibit that explores the proud and often painful evolution of America freedom from the Revolutionary War through the struggle for civil rights.
Making Prints, Telling Stories - The Artistry of Margaret Burroughs This exhibition features a selection of evocative prints by renowned artist Margaret Burroughs. Often characterized as examples of "social realism," the works affectionately capture the essence of Africa and the African Diaspora. While at the museum, you'll want to visit "And Still We Rise," the spectacular $12 million permanent exhibit that details in life-size displays the African American experience. The Charles H. Wright Museum of African American History is open Wednesdays through Sundays in February.
Black History Month at the DIA Celebrate Black History Month with great art, live music, poetry, storytelling and more at the New DIA. You'll find special programs, including a drop-in workshop, information for educators and big-screen films. Explore African American themed events, gallery tours, performances and activities Wednesdays through Sundays in February at the Detroit Institute of Arts.
The E. Azalia Hackley Concert The 64th Annual Hackley Concert presents the artistry of lyric baritone Robert Sims. Known for his moving interpretations of African American spirituals, Mr. Sims has appeared in operas and recitals throughout the United States. He performs Tuesday, Feb. 12 at the Main Branch of the Detroit Public Library.
Classical Roots Celebration IV This concert series celebrates African contributions to classical music. With resident conductor Thomas Wilkins and mezzo-soprano Denyce Graves, the program features Exegisis, a work by African-American composer Augustus Hill, Berlioz's Cleopatra and Detroit's own Brazeal Dennard Chorale. Performance is Saturday, Feb. 23, at the Max M. Fisher Music Center.
Grandma's Pharmacy This documentary highlights the life of Elizabeth Wize, the first African American woman to own a chain of pharmacies in Michigan. Today, she is 91 years young and still runs the business from Detroit's Medical district. The film was created by Elizabeth Greene, a Wayne State University graduate. Screens Saturday, Feb. 9, at the Detroit Historical Museum.
Annual African American Film Festival This inaugural film festival concentrates on classics of the big screen, featuring historical African American moving pictures from the 1930s and 40s. The films include "Emperor Jones" (starring Paul Robeson, photo), "Dirty Gertie from Harlem" and "The Green Pastures." Screenings Saturdays, Feb. 9 through Feb. 23, at the Pontiac Creative Arts Center.
Let My People Go! A Spiritual Journey Along the Underground Railroad The story of escaped slaves risking their lives for freedom comes to life through music, dance and storytelling. Presented by Rackham Symphony Choir with the Marygrove College Chorale and the Hartford Memorial Bach Choir, Donald McCullough's masterwork explores the coded language hidden within the spirituals that helped slaves escape. Performances Friday, Feb. 29 and Saturday, March 1, at Marygrove College.
For more Black History Month events, click here. We will update the GreatStuff special section as we receive more information in the coming month.
From GreatStuff
Michigan holds a special place in the African American experience. Automotive pioneer Henry Ford was the first American industrialist to offer blacks work and pay comparable to whites, a fundamental part of economic and social equality. Get the details in "Working Side by Side," an article from Michigan History magazine by University of Michigan professor David L. Lewis. The image at left of the Ford Rouge Plant is by American photographer Charles Sheeler. Click here or on the title above to read the article.
The nation's Black History Month is not just for discovering the story of African Americans. It is the story of Michigan and the story of America. It is our story.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Your Chuckle For The Day...
A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asked the man if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. "No," he said, "the seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sport event in the world, and not use it?”
Somberly, the man says, "Well... the seat actually belongs to me. I was supposed to come here with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we have not been together since we got married in 1967."
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else - a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
"The man shakes his head, "No. They're all at the funeral."
"This is incredible," said the man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sport event in the world, and not use it?”
Somberly, the man says, "Well... the seat actually belongs to me. I was supposed to come here with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we have not been together since we got married in 1967."
"Oh I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else - a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
"The man shakes his head, "No. They're all at the funeral."
Monday, February 4, 2008
Time For Tea
My friend Carol wrote about tea the other day. I saw this picture by Penny Parker that I had in my little stash of graphics and thought of her. I often use if for "wallpaper" (or background) on the computer.Xs and Os to Sissy. I just found out today that my sister reads my blog! Thanks, Mikey!
Sunday, February 3, 2008
A Little Knowledge...
From my friend, Carol!Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Who volunteers for this stuff?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of???)
(Did the government pay for this research??)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Ah, geez.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Starfish don't have brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
And, the best for last?
Turtles can breathe through their butts.
(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Family
For those who have been wanting a picture -- here it is. This is from around 2005. The wonderful people sitting are my sister Ruby (Sissy to me) and my brother-in-law Johnny. The two gentlemen standing are Bob (on the left) and Mike (on the right) who are my nephews. The old lady in the middle is me (I used to be skinny until I got older). My sister is 22 years older than I. My brother-in-law passed away in 2006 just after their 56th wedding anniversary. Throughout his life he would forget and introduce me to people as his daughter. I loved it! My nephews are more like my brothers because I was born first, then Mike (a year and 10 months later) and then Bob (two years and two months after Mike). We grew up together. We are very close to this day.
Friday, February 1, 2008
I Can Identify...
Cowboy Boots
(Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!)
Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on.
She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "....These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?", like she wanted to. Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em." Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.
Helping him into his coat, she asked,"Now, where are your mittens?"
He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."
She will be eligible for parole in three years.
(Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!)
Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on.
She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "....These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?", like she wanted to. Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em." Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.
Helping him into his coat, she asked,"Now, where are your mittens?"
He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."
She will be eligible for parole in three years.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
