It's Meme Time!

I was tagged by Mae from http://precious-maeday.blogspot.com/ for this meme.

“The rules of the game get posted at the beginning. Each player answers the questions about themselves. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.”

1) What were you doing 5 years ago?

Five years ago I was doing what I'm still doing -- working!

2) What are 5 things on your to-do list for today?

Stop and get cat food, update my blog, eat a little dinner, relax and then go to bed.

3) What are 5 snacks you enjoy?

Chex Mix, Combos Cheddar Cheese Pretzels, olives, strawberry ice bars

4) What are five things you would do if you were a billionaire?

I would help out family members, donate to my church, donate to my favorite charities (Gleaners Community Food Bank, The Salvation Army Bed & Bread Club, Habitat For Humanity, Humane Society of the U.S.), remodel my kitchen and bathroom, and I might work just part time instead of full time.

5) What are five jobs you’ve had?

Production puller, beauty supply stocker, accounting clerk, Avon representative and executive secretary.

I am tagging:
Carol over at http://charliandme.blogspot.com/
Jan over at http://gearacres.blogspot.com/
Anita over at http://vasavana.blogspot.com/
Daryl over at http://onthem104.blogspot.com/
and
Sammy over at http://dragonmaster1972.blogspot.com/

Bubbles and Barbie

Bubbles and Barbie, two blonde sisters had promised their Uncle, who had been a seafaring gentleman all his life, to bury him at sea when he died.

Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the two blondes kept their promise. They set off from Clearwater Beach with their uncle all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat.

After a while Bubbles says, 'Do you think we're out far enough, Barbie?' Barbie slipped over the side and finding the water only knee deep said, "Nope, not yet Bubbles". So they row a little farther....

Again Bubbles asks Barbie, 'Do you think we're out far enough now?' Once again Barbie slips over the side and almost immediately says, "No, this will never do, the water is only up to my chest."

So on they row and row and row, and finally Barbie slips over the side and disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Bubbles is really getting worried when suddenly Barbie breaks the surface gasping for breath.

'Well is it deep enough yet, Sis?'

"Yes, finally. Hand me the shovel."

How to Stay Young... RIP George Carlin

He will be missed.



RIP 1937-2008

George Carlin on age. (Absolutely Brilliant)

"Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?'

'I'm four and a half!'

You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?'

'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life . . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!' May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!"


HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1.Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them."

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop," and the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Although this is posted as one of George Carlin's "bits", it is not. The picture and his year of birth and death will remain here as a tribute to a great comedian (at least in my opinion), but I wanted to make sure that all the rest of it is not mistaken for his material.

How To Give a Cat a Pill

If you have ever tried to give a cat a pill, you know how difficult it is. The following instructions are fool proof!

1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from under chair. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take a new pill from foil wrap. Cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between the knees. Holding front and rear paws, ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set aside for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with it's head just visible from beneath spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.
9. Check label to make sure that pill is not harmful to humans. Drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with spoon, flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for last tetanus shot. Throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom
12. Call the fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to get of dining room table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from garage. Force cat's mouth open with small trowel. Push pill into mouth followd by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by furniture store on the way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for vet to make housecall.

(I just gave up after two days of trying to get Miss Yoda to take antibiotic, traded the pills for liquid and called it a day!)

My Coke Rewards

Double points.... that's what they've advertised on their site... make sure you stop by on 6/25... it's the only day there will be double points for your 12 PK codes....

SO, I tried to sign in, and then I tried to sign in, and then again and again and again. I'm thinking the blood pressure went up... I have NO patience for this!

Needless to say, I gave up and didn't get any double points for my 12 PK codes.

How to Install the New Home Security System...

FROM THE NRA: HOW TO INSTALL THE NEW HOME SECURITY SYSTEM:

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots

2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine andseveral NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads: 'Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.'

How to Change Your Oil

Oil Change instructions for Women:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.
2) Drink a cup of coffee.
3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:

Oil Change: $20.00
Coffee: $1.00
Total: $21.00

==========

Oil Change instructions for Men:

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.
2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.
3) Open a beer and drink it.
4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it. 7) Place drain pan under engine. 8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9) Give up and use crescent wrench.
10) Unscrew drain plug.
11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid enviro nmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
19) Remember drain plug from step 11.
20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21) Drink beer.
22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.
25) Begin cussing fit.
26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.
28) Beer.
29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
30) Beer.
31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
32) Beer.
33) Lower car from jack stands.
34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.
35) Beer.
36) Test drive car.
37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38) Car gets impounded.
39) Call loving wife, make bail.
40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:

Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $20.00
Total: $4,145.00

But you know the job was done right!

(Thanks, PoppiSam!)

CUCKOO??

A contestant on "Who Wants to be a millionaire?" had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money.

And as she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover. It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds?

Is it:

A) the condor,

B) the buzzard,

C) the cuckoo, or

D) the vulture?

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline. All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. She hoped she would not have to use it because .. her friend was, well, blonde. But she had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.

The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo."

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Meredith any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering her friend was a blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced.

"I need an answer," said Meredith.

Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, C: The cuckoo."

"Is that your final answer?"

"Yes, that is my final answer."

And Meredith replied, "That answer is.... Absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!"

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.

"Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant. "How did you happen to know the right answer?"

"Oh, come on," said the blonde... "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks."

(Thanks, Carol!)

Drafting Guys over 60

----this is so funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier----

New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60! I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.

For starters:Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill someone that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for a while.

An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys always get up early to pee so what the heck. Besides, like I said, 'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical terrorist.

If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way.

Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

If nothing else, put us on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night! Share this with your senior friends. It's purposely in big type so they can read it.

(Thanks, to my friend, Jan!)

Gone Fishin'

Hi, All!

I'm spending the day with my grandson!!

Hugs!

p.s. Happy Summer!!!

Homeland Security

Ask these guys what happens when you don't control immigration!

A little psychology quiz...

The Banana Test

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a Lion, a Chimpanzee, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel, who pass by. They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win? Your answer will reflect your personality. So think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds Got your answer?






Now scroll down to see the analysis.




If your answer is:



Lion = you're dull.


Chimpanzee = you're a moron.


Giraffe = you're a complete idiot.


Squirrel = you're just hopelessly stupid.

A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.

Gotcha!

The Rules of Rural Michigan are as Follows:

(#19 is my favorite!)

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Get out of the way!
4. To us they are cattle. Think of them as live steaks. They smell funny to you, but they smell like money to us. Get over it.
5. We're not impressed that you have a $60,000 car. We have $150,000 corn pickers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. Every person in rural Michigan waves at you. We think of it as being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread. We fry our fish after catchin' 'em. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the 15th of November.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. No, there 's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats (includes fish), vegetables, and breads. We use four spices: salt, pepper, hot sauce and ketchup. Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.
14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
15. College & High School Football is as important here as the Bears or the Bulls, & a dang site more fun to watch.
16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.
17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities, Community Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come home for the holidays.
18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. Plus we have the Michigan Militia! So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.
20. Four inches of snow isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and toilet paper from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska! Worst case, you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the next day.
21. I-94 goes east and west, I-75 goes north and south. Pick one.

A true Michigander will send this on!!!

God Bless America!!!

http://www.greatdanepromilitary.com/Battle%20Hymn/index.htm

Arte Y Pico at http://arteypico.blogspot.com/

Wow! Imagine my surprise when I found out that I had received an award from one of my favorite bloggers, Carol at http://charliandme.blogspot.com/. Thank you so much Carol! I think you have one of the prettiest blogs around. You have come a long way from, "I don't think I can do that!" There are flowers, Charli, wonderful songs, and Fletcher (who I love to feed every day).
I am so pleased and honored that you thought of me. Thank you very much

This award is "dedicated to many who nourish and enrich the spirit and creativity. They see dedication, creativity, camaraderie, joy, and above all ART, much art. I wish that this prize is entertaining to all those bloggers who day by day share this space and enrich it a little more each day."

Now for the rules:

1) Select 5 blogs that you consider deserving of this award, creativity, design, interesting material, and also contributes to the blogger community, no matter what language.
2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.
3) Each award-winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.
4) The award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show a link of "Arte y pico" blog, so everyone will know the origin of the award.

This is always the most difficult part of receiving any of these pass along awards. How does one choose the five blogs? Certainly everyone on my favorite list deserves to receive this award. They are all dedicated and wonderfully creative bloggers who have interesting and entertaining blogs, but since I can only pick five they are as follows:

http://fargo1928.blogspot.com/ Nate is wonderful young man whose blog I found quite awhile ago. He's got a wonderful sense of humor that carried him through his house restoration. Then one day he got "the call" and off to NY he went to be a model! He is the sole reason that I blog today. He gave me the courage to take the plunge, and the rest is history!

http://afocusinthewild.blogspot.com/ Then there's Stacey. I can't say enough about her beautiful photographs of all things wild. The music carries my soul to soar with the eagles!

http://highcountryarcher.blogspot.com/ And then there's Hawk. He is the soul mate of Stacey. He paints pictures with words that are as ancient as Mother Earth. The music is sheer bliss.

http://vasavana.blogspot.com/ And Anita.... a wonderful young woman with courage and wit, a yen to paint, and knowledge of insurance and grants and many other things to share after Hurrican Katrina gave their home the one-two punch.

http://gearacres.blogspot.com/ And Jan... I feel like I've always known her... she is VERY smart, does great things with her house, shares bottle caps, gives encouragement and makes me laugh!

Of course, I read many, many, MANY blogs.... and I feel like they have become my friends. It was very hard to pick just 5... so maybe I should do 5 a day... until I honor them all! What do you think?

After all, there's Simpson's Folly, Hennhouse, Front Porch Indiana, Thirteen Eleven, One Project Closer, The Petch House, Enon Hall, The Young Campaigner, just to name a few. Oh dear.... I could be here for just FOREVER!!! There's The Sow's Ear, DogMogBlog, Hiraeth and Hwyl, Bungalow23, and Oliver's Bungalow... OK. I'll stop.

BBQ RULES

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore, it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a 'real' man will do, (probably because there is an element of danger involved.)

When a man volunteers to do the BBQthe following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...

(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine....

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine....

(8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(10) Everyone PRAISES and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts. He then announces that we should do it again soon!
(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed'her night off.' And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women....

(It amazes me that the men don't get why we get bent out of shape... LOL)

Thanks, Poppi Sam!

Happy Father's Day!

BATHROOM PAINTED FLOOR!!!

IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY .... Tenth floor of a hi-rise building..... AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM... You open the door... NOW, REMEMBER THE FLOOR IS JUST A PAINTED FLOOR ! KINDA TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY..... DOESN'T IT?

Scroll sloooooooowly......





Would this mess up your mind??? Would you be able to walk into this bathroom???

Not me!

Thanks, Ron!

Scars...

When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

Concentrate on this sentence...

'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

Some years ago, on a hot summer day in south Florida , a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went.

He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.

His father working in the yard saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could.

Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late. Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.

Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved.

The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, 'But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my Dad wouldn't let go.'

You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you.

The Scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril - and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if you have the scars of His love on your arms, be very, very grateful. He did not and will not ever let you go.

Please pass this on to those you love. God has blessed you, so that you can be a blessing to others. You just never know where a person is in his/her life and what they are going through.

Never judge another person’s scars, because you don't know how they got them. Also, it is so important that we are not selfish, to receive the blessings of these messages, without forwarding them to someone else.

Right now, someone needs to know that God loves them, and you love them, too- enough to not let them go.

I got this from my friend Bill. I thought it was great and wanted to share!

I Am Hungry...

I work in downtown Detroit. I see a lot of things. Some make me angry, some make me sad, and some just amaze me.

Yesterday morning, someone in a car jumped a curb and pinned a man between a building and their car. I am pretty sure he died. I heard quite a few people say, "Oh, he was only a homeless person..." or "Oh, he was just a homeless person." This bothered me greatly. Everyone is a human being regardless of their situation. It really made me sad. (I have since found out that the man didn't die -- I also found out that the person in the car was a police officer on his way to work.... his license plate read "furious" -- nice, real nice.)

Then, at the end of the work day when I was walking to the garage where I park my car I could see that the crossing light was going to change so I slowed my pace. There is no point in trying to step up the pace when I know that I don't walk quickly enough to make it across the street before the light changes and people zoom passed in their vehicles lost in their own world with their booming music and their cell phones.

As I was waiting for the light to change in my favor a gentleman came up to me and said hello and that his mother had just died last week. Before you go, "Oh, I know what his game is," hear me out. This man was grown, probably in his late 40s or so.... and had the mental capacity of about a 12 or 14 year old. There are a lot of people like that downtown. They live in squalid apartments because that is all they can afford, and if they are mentally challenged and living with an aging parent, suddenly they are left alone to cope in a very cold world. He said he was hungry and hadn't eaten in two days. He also said he wasn't asking for money, just for someone to buy him something to eat. He was clean, and so were his clothes, so I knew he had been taken care of by someone. I felt so bad because I had to tell him I didn't have any money. Instantly he went from nice to calling me a b*tch among other things and said he was so hungry and walked away. I continued to wait for the light and I watched him walk up to several people who either walked a wide berth around him or just shook their head before he could say anything. He didn't keep walking, he stood in front of the gas station that is on the corner. They have pop and chips and sandwiches, milk, eggs, bottled water, and lots of things one could eat.

The light changed and I started across the street. I kept looking back and kept seeing people just ignore him or shake their head. I was almost to my car when I couldn't go any further. I turned around and with tears streaming down my face I went up to him. One could instantly see the shame on his face because he knew he had made me cry. He said, I'm sorry many times to me. I told him that if the gas station would take a credit card, I would buy him something to eat. He kept thanking me profusely. Instead of heading for junk, he picked out a carton of eggs, a pound of butter, bread, crackers, two sandwiches and then asked me if he could have toilet paper because he didn't have any. As he was putting his things on the counter, the line behind us grew. No one became angry, no one said hurry up, they were trying to figure out why I was crying. Then he asked me if he could have a cookie. Dear God in Heaven, something so simple as a cookie. Of course, I said yes. His purchases added up to quite a bit, but I didn't care. As I paid for them, he couldn't thank me enough. He just kept saying it over and over again.

You see, there was a time when my father had no income, no place to live and nothing to eat.... nothing to eat for days. I also remember quite vividly when I was little being without food, heat, lights. People think I make it up that I used to do my homework by a kerosene lamp. It's not a lie. We couldn't afford to pay an electric bill, so we had no lights. We couldn't afford to pay for the gas to be turned on so that Mom could cook on the small stove. There was no money to pay for a delivery of coal, so there was no heat. I've been there. I cannot ever say no to someone (or an animal) that is hungry.

I cried all the way home. I am still crying. The words "I'm hungry" are still ringing in my ears.

Oh Happy Day!

Oh joy, oh bliss!!! My grandson, Devin Michael is here from Texas!

TOO SMART TO BE A DUMB SOUTHERN BOY....

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Florida recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"

"Naw, sir", replied the redneck. "I ain't got none of them there licenses. You must understand, these here are my pet fish."

"Pet fish?"

"Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home."

"That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that."

The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, "It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works."

"O. K.", said the warden. "I've got to see this!"

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the warden says, "Well?"

"Well, what?", says the redneck.

The warden says, "When are you going to call them back?"

"Call who back?"

"The FISH", replied the warden!

"What fish?", replied the redneck.

Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.

You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north.

Thanks, Bill!

The Cardiologist & the Mechanic

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. . . . The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike. As he waited, the mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. Look at what I'm doing here. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in. And when I'm finished, it works just like new.

"So, Doc . . . how come I make only $39,600 a year. . . and you get the really big bucks. . . say $1,695,759 or so? How come you make so much more when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, smiled a minute and then leaned over. . . whispering into the mechanic's ear . . . . "Try doing it with the engine running."

WOW! 1st NASA picture of water on Mars!!

Sorry! I just couldn't resist! LOL

Thanks, Carol! Best laugh I've had all morning!

Maxine

I just LOVE Maxine!

Something Refreshing...

Red Wings

THE RED WINGS DID IT AGAIN!.........

WAY TO GO RED WINGS!!!!.........

THERE IS A PARTY GOING ON IN HOCKEY TOWN USA!

Metal Fillings

I believe this to be a fact.............. I am so glad someone finally figured it out!

For Computer Lovers...

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on...

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou..
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on "START"...........

Just a Word...

Seems I have been tagged by Alan Pardoe. You have to think of a word and then add to it. For example, water... waterwheel.

Let's see... how about band.... bandwagon.

Alas, I've been told I have to do more than one word "extension", so..... how about bandage, bandwidth, bandit, bandaid, bandicoot, bandstand, oh, and bandshell and bandsaw uh, and bandanna?!!!

How'd I do?

For anyone who wants to jump on this bandwagon, please feel free to join in on the fun!

Saying Grace In A Restaurant

(Compliments of Carol!)

Last week, I took my children to a restaurant. My six-year-old son asked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads he said, 'God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food , and I would even thank you more if Mom gets us ice cream for dessert. And Liberty and justice for all! Amen!'

Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, 'That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!'

Hearing this, my son burst into tears and asked me, 'Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?'

As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table. He winked at my son and said, 'I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer.'

'Really?' my son asked.

'Cross my heart,' the man replied.

Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing), 'Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes.'

Naturally, I bought my kids ice cream at the end of the meal. My son stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember the rest of my life.

He picked up his sundae and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman. With a big smile he told her, 'Here, this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes; and my soul is good already.'

The End

Sometimes, we all need some ice cream. I hope God sends you some Ice Cream today!

I Remember Detroit

I also remember when we used window boxes in the winter to keep food fresh. I never see that listed. They were made out of galvanized steel or tin plated.

I wonder who has the time to think of all these things and who really has the time to read them. BUT..... some really do bring back some fond memories.

You used a pillow case to go "begging" on Halloween, and you yelled "Help the Poor!" at every door. ("Help the poor, my pants are tore, I need some money to buy some more.")

You remember what Devil's Night used to be.

You remember the huge elm trees forming lush green tunnels over many Detroit streets in the summertime. Or when they'd come around to spray and tell you to stay in the house.

And the autumn smell of burning leaves when you'd rake huge piles to the curb for burning.

You remember honking your horn as you went through the tunnel to Belle Isle at the end of East Grand Blvd where it went under Jefferson Ave -- even though the sign at the entrance read "Don't Sound Horn."

And you remember the submarine that was tied up at the Brodhead Naval Armory along side the Belle Isle Bridge.

You took a class trip or a moonlight cruise to Bob-Lo with Captain Bob-Lo.

You remember running home from school so you could have Lunch with Soupy.

You rode a bus to Edgewater Amusement Park to ride the wooden rollercoaster (again and again) or the Salt & Pepper Shaker.

You remember "A fantabulous day for the family, at fantabulous Edgewater Park.

P.O.P. means 'pay one price'..."

Your mom packed the station wagon with kids, swim suits, towels, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to spend the day at Metropolitan Beach.

You played in the "Big Ditch" as I-94 was being built.

You played tennis on Belle Isle's courts, or golfed at their par 3 course, both lit after dark. Or went ice skating, or for a horseback or canoe ride, rode in a pony-drawn carriage, hand-fed the animals at the zoo, visited the aquarium, remember the teepee, or attended an event at the Casino. Or rode the big white roller coaster or found your way out of the Fun House at Jefferson Beach Amusement Park.

Took a day trip and drove way out to Walled Lake Amusement Park where they had lots of rides, a roller coaster, and to Walled Lake Casino for dancing.

When ice skating was outdoors and Palmer Park was the place to do it. You also remember its tennis courts, wading pool, golf, ice-skating, and horse and buggy rides.

And Rouge Park's Brennan Pools.

Or how about the Detroit Firefighters working the crowds at the fireworks, selling tickets to their Field Day, and giving out firecrackers to the kids.

You rode a street car that ran on tracks down the center of Gratiot, Woodward, Jefferson or Michigan Avenue. Or the electric buses on Warren and Grand River.

You remember how all of the lights from the auto dealerships lit up Gratiot and Livernois -- and that they only sold American-made cars.

You remember when Eastland, Wonderland and Northland Malls were open, not enclosed. And when Wonderland had animals in circular cages.

You know how to pronounce Gratiot and Schoenherr and Cadieux.

If someone tells you it's on Outer Drive, you know to consult a map first.

You thought driving to Southfield was going "out to the country."

You checked out books for two weeks from the Bookmobile that came to your elementary school once a weeknight.

You vividly recall the mineral bath smell (rotten eggs) when you drove through Mt. Clemens.

You bought candy and nuts from window-lined, walk-around counter and wooden floors at S.S. Kresge or Woolworth's ("dime" stores).

You went to Sock Hops at Notre Dame high school on a Friday night where you heard Stevie Wonder, Bob Seger and the Last Herd, or the Rationals.

You drank Faygo, Towne Club, Grilli's, Oso, or Atlas pop (we never heard it called 'soda").

Your mom saved Top Value, Holden Red, S&H Green or Gold Bell stamps.

Cunningham Drug Stores soda fountain and their raspberry phosphate.

Your school took a bus trip to the cider mill (with donuts and cider after the tour), or to Kellogg's in Battle Creek.

Silverstein's was the candy store of Army and Navy surplus stuff.

You had a subscription to the three Detroit newspapers, including The Detroit Times.

You remember Jac LeGoff who eventually worked at every TV station around Detroit.

You visited the Wonder Bread Bakery and got to take home a mini-loaf of bread (but you weren't cool unless you ate Silvercup bread).

You had a Shaffer's or Awrey's breadman and a Brickley's milkman.

Or a Twin Pines milkman, a Jewel Coffee man, and a Fuller Brush man (and they were always men).

You remember Pure, Benzoil, Speedway 79, Monkey, Dance, Purple Martin, Sinclair, Danny's Dino, Kayo and Gulf gas stations, and when "gas wars" meant 17 cents a gallon.

You remember Primo's Pizza, Carbone's Pizza, Red Barn, Powers, Henry's, Herc's Beef Buffet, Cupid's, Tom's Tavern, Ted's 5x5, Totem Pole, Red Devil or Richard's drive-in.

You attended a wedding reception or a banquet at Roma Hall.

You attended "Wendy Ward's Charm School" at Montgomery Wards.

You remember when Ben's Hi-Chaperelle and Watt's Club Mozambique were the places to go to catch Motown acts.

Every year when the Blue Angels came to Willow Run Airport.

Or always wished you could be one of the Hudson's Teen Panel girls whose pictures hung on the wall in the Juniors department.

You had friends or relatives who could get you into Camp Dearborn for the canteen dances in the summer.

Or the pond at Belle Isle near the Conservatory where the sign warned you not to touch the water.

You had a reverb unit installed in your car at Mickey Shorr's or Crazy Jack's (a.k.a. Michigan Mobile Radio (MMR)) on Livernois.

You remember the riots of 1967.

When the bleacher seats at Briggs Stadium were only $2.00 to watch the Detroit Lions play. And when they won the National Football Championship (before there were Superbowls) in 1957 against the Cleveland Browns, 59-14.

And when the Red Wings won all those Stanley Cups in the 1950s, and balcony seats at Olympia Stadium were only $1.25!

You remember Detroit wrestlers Dick the Bruiser, Bobo Brazil, Leaping Larry Chene, Wild Bull Curry, Ernie "The Cat" Ladd, Lord Athol Layton, Edward "The Sheik" Farhat, Fritz Von Erich, George "The Animal" Steele and Johnny Valentine.

You remember bowling for a quarter a game at Chandler Park Lanes, Falcon Lanes (next to The Ginos/Falcon Showbar), Parkside, Woods, Ritter's or Ritz bowling alleys.

You banked at Detroit Bank & Trust, Manufacturers National Bank, Bank of the Commonwealth, City National Bank, or National Bank of Detroit.

You "parked" at Belle Isle either to watch the color-changing waterfall or the submarine races -- depending on how old you were and who you were with :-).

You were in awe of the Big Stove on East Jefferson at the entrance to Belle Isle (before it was moved to State Fairgrounds' entrance).

You remember your mom taking your burned-out lightbulbs to Detroit Edison to exchange for new ones.

You remember the J. L. Hudson Co. (known to us as just "Hudson's") building on Woodward Ave. occupied an entire city block. And you remember the white-gloved elevator attendants operating the expandable gate and lever-locked door, and just before letting you out, she would call out the names of the various departments on that floor.

You ate a Maurice Salad at a J.L.Hudson's cafeteria.

You went shopping during Downtown Dollar Days.

You remember when Women's Hospital before it became Hutzel Hospital.

You remember that Hudson's hung a HUGE American flag on the front of the building every 4th of July.

You would ride the bus downtown at Christmas and stand in line at Hudson's amid a fabulous winding, animated Toyland just to see Santa.

Or you remember going to see Santa Claus at the Northland Mall igloos because it was televised and you hoped your friends would see you.

Thanksgiving was not complete unless first you went to the Hudson's Parade, then to watch the Detroit Lions play the Green Bay Packers (always the Packers back then) at Brigg's (later Tiger) Stadium. (I can add when the Lions practiced at Eastern Michigan Univ. and they would spread out with their wives at the restaurants in Ypsilanti in the evenings) Remember Bobbie Laine?

You know guys who put up big antennas so they could pull in the Lions home games on channel 6 out of Lansing.

You watched the 'old guys' play bocce ball at Buddy's Rendezvous Pizza or sang the Schnitzelbank song at the Dakota Inn.

You remember when Mayor Cavanaugh would give Santa and Christmas Carole (who always looked like she should be freezing in her short red velvet outfit trimmed with white fur) the keys to the city at the end of every parade.

You remember the Detroit Tiger's pitcher Mark "The Bird" Fidrych.

You remember watching the Detroit Pistons and the WHA Michigan Stags hockey games at Cobo Arena.

How about Al Ackerman ringing Big Al's bell for the Sports Hero of the Day.

And watching Cadillacs being made on Clark Street.

Or the giant, three-dimensional "Elsie" the Borden Cow (head) located on the side of the Ira Wilson Dairy off the I-94 service drive. (Now, it only says "ILSON;" much of the stack has been taken down.)

Going to the Better Made potato chip factory and getting small bags of brown chips or shoe strings before going to the Jewel movie theater.

You remember hearing the air raid sirens on Saturday at 1 pm.

You remember the RAF bomber flying from England in 1962 that exploded over the Detroit River near Grosse Pointe Park.

Your neighborhood had a man who came down the alley on his horse-drawn carriage, honking his horn and collecting the stuff no one wanted, like bicycle parts, wheel rims, etc. (the sheeney man).

Or the guy who came through your neighborhood on a bike to sharpen your scissors, etc.

You remember going to the drive-in and getting blasted by mosquito spray from the back of a pick-up truck that drove up and down the lanes.

You ordered Cold Duck at the Ponchartrain Wine Cellars (the restaurant/bar where it was invented) and enjoyed a frog leg dinner.

Trips to Western Market.

Arriving home from college at the Michigan Central Depot.

Playing at one of the big piano recitals at Olympia with 200-300 other kids.

You got a piece of buttercream or bumpy cake at the Sanders cafeteria downtown, right across from Hudson's. Whoa, just think about those cream puffs and hot fudge toppings!

You remember when Eastland's real gold mouse on the lion statue was filed off and stolen. And what about climbing all over that big stone hippo...then they'd move it...

You remember the Christmas festivities at the Ford Rotunda before it burned down. (the model train village).

The Reddi Whip Can on Telegraph Rd., under the Michigan Ave overpass.

Or the "Gas Is Best" sign on the big gas tank near Detroit City Airport.

Or the big electronic sign at I-94 and I-75 that tracked new vehicle production.

You went to the lavish Michigan Theater downtown to see a movie, or to the Ford Auditorium for a show.

You remember mayors like Albert E. Cobo, Louis Miriani, Jerome P. Cavanaugh and Roman S. Gribbs. (They built Detroit instead of destroying it.)

You saw a wide-screen movie at the United Artist Theater, like Around the World in 80 Days, or Seven Wonders of the World at Cinerama.

Or when the WXYZ television station was located on Woodward in the Macabbees Building across from the Detroit Institute of Arts and a few blocks north of the old Vernors plant. (WXYZ later moved to Southfield.)

You "cruised" Big Boy's drive-in at 8 Mile & Dequindre (better known as Dixie's), or the one at 9 Mile & Jefferson, or Grand River off Woodward. Or through McDonald's in Madison Heights after a football game.

You played putt-putt golf or jumped on the tramps at Burkemo's near Olsen's Beach.

You were served a root beer float and a foot-long hot dog or a mama burger in your car at A&W's (pronounced A-IN-DUBS).

You've ended up at a Time or Clock restaurant after the bars closed.

Ordered fries and a shake at Dunkenburger ("Dunks") at 8 Mile and Kelly.

Or the barbecued beef sandwiches or chicken pies (rated tops by Duncan Hines) at Hedge's Wigwam on Woodward in Royal Oak.

You remember the Raven Gallery on Woodward, or the Chess Mate on Livernois. Or the Ellwood, Purple Pickle, Moby Dick, Chalet Lounge, or Colonial Lounge.

You went to Verne's Bierstube for burgers and beer, and The Snug near Wayne State for ice cream (they didn't allow kids).

You know what it means if someone tells you to "hit 8 Mile."

You remember the "Club Polka" TV show with Stan "Stosh" Wisniach on the accordion.

Or "Madman Muntz" for Muntz TV.

You got your car repainted at Earl Scheib's - "I'll paint any car, any color, $29.95!" ( it's about $300.00 now)

You remember Dick Purtan on WXYZ and CKLW (who's now on WOMC 104.3).

Or how about Lee Alan, "On The Horn" whose opening song was Zing Went The Strings Of My Heart. "Now I can't sing...but hear me swing! Whoooeee! We'll have something old to play, something new in review and a couple of things to say. Between now and midnight you're going to hear some of the most fantastical round ones in this big old town. We'll call it the cream of the crop until 12 o'clock!"

You listened to the Kelly & Co. variety/talk show in the morning.

Motown studios -- when they were actually headquartered and recording in Detroit!

And to the Battle of the Bands with Ted Nugent.

You remember yard long beer and ballads at the Poison Apple.

You can point to the 1975 photo of Cobo Hall on the back of the Kiss Alive album and show people where you sat during the concert.

You went to Saturday concerts in Kennedy Square.

Or a "grasser" (concert) where you sat on a blanket on the lawn.

You shopped at the Broadway Market, an indoor produce, meat and deli market with lots of sawdust on the floor and the best of every edible item you could think of.

You called WKNR (Keener) when they'd announce the last two digits of your phone number, even when you didn't know the name of the song, just to get the Keener pin.

Or how about Joel Sebastian's Movin' Memories Sunday night show, his sock hops or March of Dimes dances with the Motown stars of the future, Marvelettes, Eddie Hollandor Marvin Gaye, for $1.50 a show.

You thought driving to Troy was going "out to the country."

You remember the "Big Snow," the one that kept you out of school.

You heard the Good Humor man ringing his bells two streets away, usually around dinnertime.

You remember Twin Pines or Sealtest delivered milk and juice to the chute on the side of your house.

Or the (Free Press or News or Times) paperboy delivered your paper by bicycle using a huge bag, then collected on the weekends with a change-maker hanging from his belt.

Your tour of the Stroh's Brewery ("From one beer lover to another, Stroh's beer") included a sandwich, a beer and a souvenir glass.

Or maybe you preferred Pfeiffer, Drewries, Altes, Schmidt, Goebel, Prost, or E & B beer.

Or the fancy drinks at the Chin Tiki, or...

You remember the Gold Cup and Silver Cup Races, and seeing the people line up along the Detroit River near Belle Isle to watch the annual hydroplane races with "Miss Budweiser," "Miss Pepsi," "Miss Supertest," "Gar Wood," "Slo-Mo-Shunand," "Suchcrust," (sponsored by Shaefer's Bread) and "Miss Madison."

You remember that the Red Wings AND the Beatles played at Olympia Stadium (The Old Red Barn).

Cruising Telegraph from Grand River to Michigan, Telway's, Big Boys, Burger King, Daly's and Blazo's.

Crusing north Gratiot drive-ins: Scotts, Jupiter, A&W, T&C, Starlite, Midgions, Wells.

Dances at 182 Hall, Franklin LYI and The Pumkin.

You ordered an amazing steak and baked potato at the Flaming Embers at Woodward and Grand Circus Park.

You saw Marvin Gaye or the Supremes sing at the Olympia Stadium, the Roostertail or 20 Grand Lounge. And all of the top bands at the Eastown Theater.

Or the Graystone or Vanity Ballroom, and that all the great ballrooms became psychedelic rock barns in the 60s.

You danced to the live music of The Temptations at your high school sock hop and Motown music was all over the radio.

You went on Detroit Bandstand hosted by Dale Young. You ordered the tickets by mail and your mom would drive you and a friend to the studio on Second Blvd.

You danced under the mirror ball or saw The Who or Janis Joplin at the Grande Ballroom. And you know who Russ Gibb is.

You remember a hip newspaper called The Fifth Estate.

You remember the Detroit Wheels football team.

You went to to the Motown Revue at the Fox Theater and saw the Four Tops, the Temptations, Gladys Knight and the Pips, the Supremes, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye & Tammie Terrell, and Willie Tyler & Lester... all for $3.00!

You remember when Mitch Ryder & the Detroit Wheels were big.

And that the "sun never set" on CKLW's Tommy Shannon empire.

And Martha Jean the Queen, a Motown DJ.

Or dancing to Rusty Day & the Midnighters at the Chatterbox, a teen nightclub at 13 Mile and Mound Rds.

Or every Sunday afternoon, Johnny Walenda would host Teen Age Nightclub, a party / talent show / dance at the Gay Haven in Dearborn.

Or having your prom at the Masonic Temple downtown.

You sometimes wonder what happened to Jimmy Hoffa.

You remember when there was no Lodge Freeway, no I-696, and I-75 only went as far as Troy.

You knew someone who went to John Williams' Beauty School after high school to become a beautician. Or to Virginia Farrell's at Milwaukee and Woodward.

You remember your first strawberry, chocolate or vanilla Cream ale in a frosted glass from Vernor's at the foot of Woodward near Bob-Lo. A bearded troll on every bottle and always a sneeze on the first sip.

You remember Crystal Pool at 8 Mile and Greenfield. After it closed, you went to its sister salt water pool, w-a-y out in Rochester.

Or how about Kiddieland Amusement Park on 8 Mile between Schaefer and Greenfield.

You remember Zookeys and talking storybooks and when admittance was free at the Detroit Zoo. Train rides cost 10 cents, they had more than two of each species on display, and when the nature trails bat house was destroyed by severe weather in the '60s.

You remember Plum Street when it was trying to imitate Haight Ashbury.

When there were signs on the lawns of homes in Highland Park during the block-busting years that said "This home NOT for sale."

When the freighter "Montrose" sunk under the Ambassador Bridge in 1961 (a big attraction while riding the Bob-Lo boat).

You remember Paw Paw Charlie (Charlie Maxwell), a Detroit Tiger who was known for hitting home runs on Sundays.

You remember the Detroit Shopping News.

Derby Hill when there were soap box derby car races sponsored by Chevrolet.

The giant clown slide at Lasky Playfield they cemented up after someone got hurt.

When Eastern Market was the only place to get your flowers for spring planting.

And when Joe Muer's had a restaurant near there.

When Sams department store was behind Hudson's downtown (and it had nothing to do with Sam Walton).

Going to the Top Hat Supper Club to see Sonny & Cher. Or you remember your parents going to the Metropole or Elmwood Supper Clubs, all in Windsor.

You remember when Sunday meant getting dressed up to go to church, family dinners, quiet streets, and closed stores.

You pronounce Kmart as Kmarts, and Ford as Fords.

You had an Uncle (Joshua Doore) in the furniture business.

You remember this telephone number: TYler 8-7100 (Belvedere Construction), and their motto "We Do Good Work" and "Have No Fear with Belvedere.

You thought the Big Tire on I-94 might roll away one day. Or you tried to image how big the car was that it came from. Or where it picked up that nail (now removed)!

You had breakfast with Santa at Crowley's downtown and got to take your hot chocolate Santa mug home with you.

You crawled all over the Golden Goose at Westland Mall and thought the golden egg seamed so BIG!

You remember when you could go out on the observation deck at Willow Run Airport to watch the planes...long before there was a Detroit Metro airport.

You remember the moving beer sign on Third and Grand Boulevard.

Or going to the GM Building to see model cars made by kids as future designs.

When you could go to the top of the Fisher Building.

Or, watching the billboard that blew smoke rings at Grand Boulevard and Gratiot while waiting at the bus stop.

You can still sing the Roy O'Brien jingle, "Stay on the right track to 9 Mile and Mack..."

You played at the Ridgemont Golf Course...when Eastpointe was East Detroit.

The TV2 Swimmobile held thousands of gallons of water in a portable swimming pool hauled by a semi truck that would come to your neighborhood in the summertime.

You remember Black Bart, and the Faygo pop song being sung on the Bob-Lo boat: "Which way did he go, which way did he go? He went for Faygo Old Fashioned Root Beer" and their slogan "I'm too pooped to participate." Or... Uptown, the pop with the little guy who grew tired blowing up bottles, and tell his boss "I'm too pooped to participate." To that his boss says, "Then live it up up with Uptown!"

You remember going to lunch downtown at Greenfield's (for the cloverleaf rolls) or to Quickee's.

You told your mom, husband, boyfriend, sister, friend, whoever...to meet you under the Kern's Clock.

You went to the Big Cow at Mack and Dickerson for ice cream.

You had the pleasure of being "served" at Victor Lim's in Grand Circus Park.

You knew someone who was born at Memorial, Receiving or Crittendon Hospital.

You had a car with a "Sock it to 'em Tigers" bumper sticker on it. And you remember Terry Cashman's "Tiger Baseball" song. And when Harry Heilmann broadcast the Tigers games. When they were out of town, he'd read the play-by-plays from a teletype.

You took pride... and then embarassment... in Tigers pitcher Denny McLain.

Or listening to "Rollie Pollie Mickey Lolitch, Tigers Won the Series" playing on Keener.

You remember buying hamburgers 8 for $1.00 at Top Hat or White Castle. (At 8 Mile Rd and Gratiot, they were kitty-corner from one another.)

You remember trying to decide which of the two side-by-side Coney Island restaurants to eat at in downtown Detroit.

You remember when going to The Top of The Flame in the gas building downtown was THE place to go after the prom.

Velvet Peanut Butter with the three little imps named Fresh, Pure and Delicious.

Farrell's, where you loved to go for your birthday ( video). The sound of a siren and a banging drum meant you'd ordered the The Zoo, a HUGE bowl of assorted ice creams and toppings that arrived on a stretcher (and you got to sign the Pig's Trough with much embarrassment). If you ate it all, it was free!

You know that WJR as "The Greatest Radio Station in the World" and broadcasted from the "Golden Tower of the Fisher Building.

You watched Rita Bell's "Prize Movie."

"Dialing for Dollars" with Larry Adderley, or Bob Allison of "Ask Your Neighbor," "House Detective" and "Bowling for Dollars," or Fred Wolf hosting "Championship Bowling" on Sunday mornings, or Don Kremer and Chuck Walby as co-hosts of "Beat the Champ," or Crafts with Carol Duvall (now on HGTV).

You remember weatherman Sonny Eliot (who's still doing the weather for WWJ radio) using a chalkboard map to fill in temperatures and forecasts for rain or snow, along with a removable Keweenaw peninsula. And his weekly TV program "At The Zoo."

And opinionated newscasting by Bill Bonds and Lou Gordon.

The Lady of Charm, Edythe Fern Melrose.

Or George Pierrot's "World Adventure Series," one of the first local color programs offered in Detroit. (Who can forget George occasionally dozing off on the set.)

You remember Van Patrick and Mel Ott broadcasting the Detroit Tigers games from Tiger Stadium on radio station WKMH ("At 1310 on your dial").

You remember Ernie Harwell and George Kell.

And Byron McGregor on CKLW 20-20 News.

And Mary Morgan and the Million Dollar Movies she hosted with her dog Liebshein on CKLW channel 9 on Sunday afternoons, after Bill Kennedy "At the Movies."

And Dave Diles, and J.P. McCarthy.

And Detroit's first husband and wife news team, John Kelly and Marilyn Turner-Kelly.

You listened at night to WJBK's Ed McKenzie as Jack the Bellboy, then Tom Clay whose theme song was "How Come You Love Me Like You Do Do Do?"

And "The Bird," Robin Seymour, DJ and host of "Swinging Time" on CKLW. Or even further back, "Bobbin with Robin" on WKMH.

Or you were a fan of Bud Davies' Top Ten Dance Party. You listened to Pie Plant Pete, Bashful Joe, and Bud Guest (son of Edgar Guest) on WJR in the mornings, and their advertiser was Detroit-based Pet-Ritz pies, "Like momma used to make!"

Or maybe your favorite DJ was Johnny Slagle and Pat Tobin ("Pat 'n' Johnny Show") whose theme song was Cherokee by Charlie Barnett, and sign-off message was "So long, kids. Love y'all!"

And Jay Roberts, host of "Night Flight 760" on WJR where we went around the world.

Or Morgus, the mad scientist who did the weather on Ch 2 at 5:55 pm weekdays, then host a scary movie (usually a Japanese sci-fi) Saturday nights at 11:30.

You called Channel 7's Jerry Stanecki "The Newshawk" to help when you got ripped off.

You remember Sir Graves Ghastly, the host who dressed as a vampire and showed horror movies on Saturday afternoon.

And The Ghoul and "Ready, Mr. Dale, roll 'em."

How about Count Scary and Sgt. Sacto? (Both played by Tom Ryan)

Or Sagebrush Shorty (Ted Lloyd) and his puppet pals Skinny Duggan and Broncho Billy Buttons.

How about when the only TV channels were 2, 4, 7 & 9. On a good day, you could tune in 11 and 13 out of Toledo. In later years, UHF 50 & 56.

YOU REMEMBER:

~ Lets See Willy Dooit starring Willy Dooit, Gee-Whizzer, Applesauce the Dragon, Professor Smart, and Molly Cuddles

~ Milky the Clown (Clare Cummings), "Milky's Movie Party"

~ Soupy Sales (Milton Supman, also known as Milton Hines) and his Birthbath Club, along with (Clyde Adler as) White Fang ("the meanest dog in all of Dee-troit" -- you only saw his giant paw), Black Tooth ("the sweetest dog in all of Dee-troit"), Hippy the Hippo, and Pookie the Lion. Who can forget Willie the Worm, Marilyn Monwolf, and The Man at the Door?

~ Jingles (Jerry Booth) in "Boofland," and Herkimer Dragon, Cecil B. Rabbit, the King of Boofland and Mr. Binki the Postman, all voiced by Larry Sands.

~ Jerry Booth's Fun House with a purple moose head mounted on the wall named Clyde, who always said "Uh-huh."

~ Johnny Ginger (Gaylen Grindle)

~ Bozo the Clown (played by both Art Cervi and Bob McNea)

~ Captain Jolly (Toby David) and Poopdeck Paul (Allan Schultz) brought us Popeye cartoons and an appreciation of spinach.

~ Ricky the Clown (Irv Romig) whose sponsor was Tip Top bread.

~ Wixie the Pixie (Marv Welch), host of Wixies Wonderland, and whose sponsor was Bosco chocolate syrup.

~ WWJs kiddie show Playschool with Mary Melody, hosted by Marv's ex-wife Eleanor.

~ Harry Jarkey, the host of Our Friend Harry, a morning variety show on WXYZ. Then on Saturday mornings in 1959, Fun House, a game show for kids.

~ Romper Room with Miss Ardis (Kenealy) and Miss Flora (Asseltine)

~ The Lone Ranger and Sergeant Preston of the Yukon played by Brace Beemer.

~ Oopsy the Clown (Bob McNea)

~ Auntie Dee (Parker) and Uncle Jimmy (Stevenson)

N O W . .

What's the magic word? Twin Pines!

Coffee

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain-looking, some expensive, and some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

After all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, THAT is the source of your problems and stress."

"Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases, it's just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and then began eyeing each other's cups."

"Now consider this: Life is the coffee. . . and the jobs, houses, cars, things, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life, and the type of cup we have does not define nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us. God brews the coffee, not the cups."

"Enjoy your coffee."

"Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect; it means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections."

Live in peace and peace will live in you. God is the source.