The Pastor's Cat

For all my cat lovers (I sure hope this link works)!

http://home.att.net/~hideaway_today/t144/cat.htm


Graphic Art and Web Page By: Mark C. Phillips
Song "Our God Reigns"
Words and Music By:
Leonard E. Smith, Jr.
Copyright 1974 By L. E. Smith
MIDI By: Larrie Dee
larrie@pacbell.net
MIDI Remixed and Edited By:
Mark C. Phillips
Copyright © 2005-2008 Solo's Hideaway Fun Pages

A Favorite Photo

A couple of my favorite fellas!

Sammy & "Moose" (Austin)

(One of the pictures I was screaming about loosing yesterday.)

SCREAM!

Well, I have issues. I have a Group (family photos --- 141 of them) on MSN Groups. They are doing away with the site in February. I drug my feet (so I suppose I really have no one to blame buy myself) because I was afraid to "migrate" my Group to Multiply. Well, today I decided to suck it up and go ahead and do the migration.

Now I know why I drug my feet. I HAD 141 photos. When the Group migrated to Multiply, only 71 photos migrated. Of course, if you "contact us", they will get back to you "in the order in which the message is received. Kind of like waiting on hold on the phone, except that I didn't get "your call is important to us, please stay on the line and the next available representative will be with you"... can you tell I've spent a lot of time waiting on the phone to speak to a human being?

I am just sick about this. Those are pictures of my FAMILY! I don't have them stored anywhere else because I didn't have the space on my hard drive. I thought they would be there forever! So much for that thought.

I sure wish I knew how to fix this. Sigh.

UPDATE: I learned something new! I could save my photos to my computer (I didn't know I could do that) and I have them stored so that I can try to figure out how to put them on the Multiply site!

Winter Poem

WINTER POEM

It's winter in Wyoming

And the gentle breezes blow

Seventy miles an hour

At thirty-five below.

Oh, how I love Wyoming

When the snow's up to your butt

You take a breath of winter

And your nose gets frozen shut.

Yes, the weather here is wonderful

So I guess I'll hang around

I could never leave Wyoming

I'm frozen to the friggin' ground!

(From our niece in - where else - Wyoming!)

Albino Peacock

Isn't this gorgeous? I've never seen an albino peacock... only the blue ones.

Feather Paintings

That's It ..... The End!

WOW!!!!!!

God's Wings - A little something to put things in perspective...

After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park , forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage. One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree. Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick. When he gently struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings. The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under her wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise. She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies. Then the blaze had arrived and the heat had scorched her small body, the mother had remained steadfast because she had been willing to die, so those under the cover of her wings would live.

'He will cover you with His feathers, And under His wings you will find refuge.' (Psalm 91:4)

Being loved this much should make a difference in your life. Remember the One who loves you, and then be different because of it.

My instructions were to send this to people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you. Please pass this on to people you want to be blessed.

Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend... lose one.

(Thanks, Sissy!)

History Exam

20 QUESTION HISTORY EXAM

History Exam.........................

Everyone over 50 should have a pretty easy time at this exam.
If you are under 45 you can claim a handicap.

This is a History Exam for those who don't mind seeing how much
they really remember about what went on in their life.

****Get paper & pencil & number from 1 to 20.
****Write the letter of each answer & score at the end.

Then before you pass this test on, put your score in the subject line.
Send to friends so everyone can HAVE FUN!!!!

1. In the 1940s, where were automobile headlight dimmer switches located?
a. On the floor shift knob.
b. On the floor board, to the left of the clutch.
c. Next to the horn.

2. The bottle top of a Royal Crown Cola bottle had holes in it. For what was it
used?
a. Capture lightning bugs.
b. To sprinkle clothes before ironing.
c. Large salt shaker.

3. Why was having milk delivered a problem in northern winters?
a. Cows got cold and wouldn't produce milk.
b. Ice on highways forced delivery by dog sled.
c. Milkmen left deliveries outside of front doors and milk
would freeze, expanding and pushing up the cardboard bottle top.

4. What was the popular chewing gum named for a game of chance?
a. Blackjack
b. Gin
c. Craps

5. What method did women use to look as if they were wearing stockings
when none were available due to rationing during WW II.
a. Suntan
b. Leg painting
c. Wearing slacks

6. What postwar car turned automotive design on its ear when you couldn't
tell whether it was coming or going?
a. Studebaker
b. Nash Metro
c. Tucker

7. Which was a popular candy when you were a kid?
a Strips of dried peanut butter.
b. Chocolate licorice bars.
c. Wax coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside.

8. How was Butch wax used?
a. To stiffen a flat-top haircut so it stood up.
b. To make floors shiny and prevent scuffing.
c. On the wheels of roller skates to prevent rust.

9. Before inline skates, how did you keep your roller skates attached to
your shoes?
a. With clamps, tightened by a skate key.
b. Woven straps that crossed the foot.
c. Long pieces of twine.

10. As a kid, what was considered the best way to reach a decision?
a. Consider all the facts.
b. Ask Mom.
c. Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.

11. What was the most dreaded disease in the 1940s and 1950s?
a. Smallpox
b. AIDS
c. Polio

12. 'I'll be down to get you in a ________, Honey'
a. SUV
b. Taxi
c. Streetcar

13. What was the name of Caroline Kennedy's pony?
a. Old Blue
b. Paint
c. Macaroni

14. What was a Duck-and-Cover Drill?
a Part of the game of hide and seek.
b. What you did when your Mom called you in to do chores.
c. Hiding under your desk, and covering your head with your
arms in an A-bomb drill.

15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?
a. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
b. Princess Sacajawea
c. Princess Moonshadow

16. What did all the really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were
handed out in school?
a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed
to get you high.
b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window.
c. Wrote another pupil's name on the top, to avoid their
failure.

17. Why did your Mom shop in stores that gave Green Stamps with purchases?
a. To keep you out of mischief by licking the backs, which
tasted like bubble gum.
b. They could be put in special books and redeemed for
various household items.
c. They were given to the kids to be used as stick-on tattoos.

18. Praise the Lord, & pass the _________?
a. Meatballs
b. D ames
c. Ammunition

19. What was the name of the singing group that made the song 'Cab driver'
a hit?
a. The Ink Spots
b. The Supremes
c. The Esquires

20. Who left his heart in San Francisco?
a. Tony Bennett
b. Xavier Cugat
c. George Gershwin

-------------------------------------------------------

ANSWERS

1. (b) On the floor, to the left of the clutch. Hand controls, popular in
Europe, took till the late '60's to catch on.

2. (b) To sprinkle clothes before ironing. Who had a steam iron?

3. (c) Cold weather caused the milk to freeze and expand, popping the
bottle top.

4 . (a) Blackjack Gum.

5. (b) Special makeup was applied, followed by drawing a seam down the
back of the leg with eyebrow pencil.

6. (a) 1946 Studebaker.

7. (c) Wax coke bottles containing super-sweet colored water.

8 (a) Wax for your flat top (butch) haircut.

9. (a) With clamps, tightened by a skate key, which you wore on a
shoestring around your neck.

10. (c) Eeny-meeny-miney-mo.

11. (c) Polio. In beginning of August, swimming pools were closed, movies
and other public gathering places were closed to try to prevent spread
of the disease.

12. (b) Taxi Better be ready by half-past eight!

13. (c) Macaroni.

14. (c) Hiding under your desk and covering your head with your arms in an
A-bomb drill.

15. (a) Princess Summerfallwinterspring. She was another puppet.

16. (a) Immediately sniffed the purple ink to get a high.

17. (b) Put in a special stamp book, they could be traded for household
items at the Green Stamp store.

18. (c) Ammunition, and we'll all be free.

19. (a) The widely famous 50's group: The Inkspots.

20. (a) Tony Bennett and he sounds just as good today.

SCORING

17 - 20 correct: You are older than dirt and obviously gifted with mental
abilities. Now if you could only find your glasses. Definitely someone who should share your wisdom!

12 - 16 correct: Not quite dirt yet, but you're getting there.

0 -11 correct: You are not old enough to share the wisdom of your experiences.

Send this to your friends with your score in the subject line.

(I got 18 out 20!)

Super Bowl

Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, and go to Hell. The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves.

He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?" Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Michigan , da land of snow an ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.'

The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat even more. When he returns to the room of the two guys from Michigan U-P , the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer.

The devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?' Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too much varm veather up dere at da Soo, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da veather's dis nice.'

The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight. . Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in Hell. The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men. The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?'

They both look at the devil in surprise and say, "Vell, don't ya know; if hell is froze over, dat must mean da Lions von da Super Bowl!

Fender Skirts

A term I haven't heard in a long time and thinking about "fender skirts" started me thinking about other words that quietly disappear from our language with hardly a notice like "curb feelers" and "steering knobs" (AKA suicide knobs).

Since I'd been thinking of cars, my mind naturally went that direction first. Any kids will probably have to find some elderly person over 50 to explain some of these terms to you.

Remember "Continental kits?"They were rear bumper extenders and spare tire covers that were supposed to make any car as cool as a Lincoln Continental.

When did we quit calling them "emergency brakes?"At some point "parking brake" became the proper term. But I miss the hint of drama that went with "emergency brake."

I'm sad, too, that almost all the old folks are gone who would call the accelerator the "foot feed."

Didn't you ever wait at the street for your daddy to come home, so you could ride the "running board" up to the house?

Here's a phrase I heard all the time in my youth but never anymore - "store-bought." Of course, just about everything is store-bought these days. But once it was bragging material to have a store-bought dress or a store-bought bag of candy.

"Coast to coast" is a phrase that once held all sorts of excitement and now means almost nothing. Now we take the term "world wide" for granted. This floors me.

On a smaller scale, "wall-to-wall" was once a magical term in our homes. In the '50s, everyone covered his or her hardwood floors with, wow, wall-to-wall carpeting! Today, everyone replaces their wall-to-wall carpeting with hardwood floors. Go figure.

When's the last time you heard the quaint phrase "in a family way?" It's hard to imagine that the word "pregnant" was once considered a little too graphic, a little too clinical for use in polite company. So we had all that talk about stork visits and "being in a family way" or simply "expecting."

A Little Snicker

Western Movies

My favorite actors in my favorite films!

http://www.oldfortyfives.com/thoseoldwesterns.htm

Hard Work

In Honor...

The Stranger in the Family

The Stranger

This is very interesting and not the ending I had expected!!!!

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small Texas town.

From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on. As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a special niche.

My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger... he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies. If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind. Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet. (I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home... not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our longtime visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush. My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol. But the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly and pipes distinguished.

He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing. I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom r ebuked... and NEVER asked to leave. More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

His name?.... .. . We just call him 'TV.'

(Note: This should be required reading for every household in America!)

He has a wife now.... we call her 'Computer.'

(Thanks, Sissy!)

Back to the Original

As our nation's Big 3 auto manufacturers face bankruptcy, we must go back to the old time basics. Americans will soon need to once again embrace the original.

Alberta Clipper

Ccccccaaan we say cccccccold????? I'M FREEZING!!! I really felt sorry for the people in Fargo, ND. They had it worse than we do!

Remember?

My forgetter's getting better,

But my rememberer is broke.

To you that may seem funny

But to me, that is no joke!

For when I'm 'here' I'm wondering

If I really should be 'there';

And when I try to think it through,

I haven't got a prayer!

Oft times I walk into a room,

Say 'What am I here for?'

I wrack my brain, but all in vain....

A zero is my score!

At times I put something away

Where it is safe, but Gee....

The person it is safest from

Is generally, me!

When shopping I may see someone,

Say 'Hi' and have a chat,

Then, when the person walks away I ask myself,

'Who the heck was that?'

Yes, my forgetter's getting better

While my rememberer is broke.

And it's driving me plumb crazy

And that isn't any joke!

(Thanks, Bill!)

Why? Why? Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?

Why does someone Believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but have to check when you say the paint is still wet?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, Why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses Are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

The Cat in the Hat

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today:

The people who are starting college this fall were born in 1989.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
The CD was introduced two years before they were born.
They have always had an answering machine.
They have always had cable.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been microwaved.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard: 'Where's the Beef?', 'I'd walk a mile for a Camel ', or 'de plane Boss, de plane'.
McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

Pass this on to the other old fogies on your list. Notice the larger type? That's for those of us who have trouble reading.

P.S. Save the earth. It's the only planet with chocolate.

What Goes Around...

What Goes Around comes Around

The man slowly looked up.

This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life. Her coat was new. She looked like that she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before.

'Leave me alone,' he growled.

To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows.

'Are you hungry?' she asked.

'No,' he answered sarcastically. 'I've just come from dining with the President. Now go away.'

The woman's smile became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm.

'What are you doing, lady?' the man asked angrily. 'I said to leave me alone.

Just then a policeman came up. 'Is there any problem, ma'am?' he asked.

'No problem here, officer,' the woman answered. 'I'm just trying to get this man to his feet. Will you help me?'

The officer scratched his head. 'That's old Jack. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?'

'See that cafeteria over there?' she asked. 'I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile.'

'Are you crazy, lady?' the homeless man resisted. 'I don't want to go in there!' Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up.

'Let me go, officer. I diddn't do anything.'

'This is a good deal for you, Jack,' the officer answered. 'Don't blow it.'

Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived. The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by his table. 'What's going on here, officer?' he asked. 'What is all this. Is this man in trouble?'

'This lady brought this man in here to be fed,' the policeman answered.

'Not in here!' the manager replied angrily. 'Having a person like that here is bad for business.' Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. 'See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place.'

The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. 'Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?'

'Of course I am,' the manager answered impatiently. 'They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms.'

'And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?'

'What business is that of yours?'

'I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, President and CEO of the company.'

'Oh.'

The woman smiled again. 'I thought that might make a difference.' She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a giggle. 'Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?'

'No thanks, ma'am,' the officer replied. 'I'm on duty.'

'Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?'

'Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice.'

The cafeteria manager turned on his heel. 'I'll get your coffee for you right away, officer.' The officer watched him walk away. 'You certainly put him in his place,' he said.

'That was not my intent. Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this.' She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest. She stared at him intently. 'Jack, do you remember me?'

Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes. 'I think so -- I mean you do look familiar.'

'I'm a little older perhaps,' she said. 'Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry.'

'Ma'am?' the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry.

'I was just out of college,' the woman began. 'I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat.'

Jack lit up with a smile. 'Now I remember,' he said. 'I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy.'

'I know,' the woman continued. 'Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over, I saw you put the price of my food in the cash register I knew then that everything would be all right.'

'So you started your own business?' Old Jack said.

'I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business, that, with the help of God, prospered.' She opened her purse and pulled out a business card. 'When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He's the personnel director of my company. I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office.' She smiled. 'I think he might> > even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet. If you ever need anything, my door is always opened to you.'

There were tears in the old man's eyes. 'How can I ever thank you? ' he said.

'Don't thank me,' the woman answered. 'To God goes the glory. Thank Jesus. He led me to you.'

Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways. 'Thank you for all your help, officer,' she said.

'On the contrary, Ms. Eddy,' he answered. 'Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And... And thank you for the coffee.'

Have a wonderful day. May God bless you always. And don't forget that when you 'cast your bread upon the waters,' you never know how it will be returned to you.

I hope this entry was worth the wait. This is one of my favorite stories. I don't know if it is true or not, but I'm sure somewhere it could happen.

Old vs. New

At the end of this email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno. If you don't read anything else, please read what he said. Very well stated, Mr. Leno.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE
1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY?

Because we were always outside playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K. We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Play stations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.

Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. If YOU are one of them? CONGRATULATIONS!You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ?

~ The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

For Di!

No cat speak!

Gratitudes

My friend, Miss Kitty over at http://educatedandpoor.blogspot.com/ and the Happy Kitten Cottage posted her gratitudes. I liked it so much that I thought it would be nice to kind of start that ripple in the pond and tell some of mine.

I'm grateful for my job (which I not only love but get paid to do it), my hubs, the girls (my kittehs) my family & friends, the friends I have made through all the blogs I read and through mine, my health, freedom, food on the table, clothes on my back, my home, and the right to attend the church of my choice. There are many more, but I have "writer's block" and can't think of them.

Now I will ask you the question she posed: What are you thankful for?

Sweet Taters...

This is for all my "Sweet Taters"!

http://www.frontiernet.net/~jimdandy/specials/sweettators/

Enjoy!

The Cars We Drove...

I sure hope this is legal because this will take some of you back to a wonderful time. It sure took me back to a wonderful place in time.

http://thefiftiesandsixties.com/CarsWeDrove.htm

Created by OldBlueWebDesigns.com

Something Cute!

Tummy sez

http://icanhascheezburger.com/

Idiots of 2008

Seven Top Idiots of 2008

Number One Idiot of 2008
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
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Number Two Idiot of 2008
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locater beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Three Idiot of 2008
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Number Four Idiot of 2008
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
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Idiot Number Five of 2008
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
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Idiot Number Six of 2008
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
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Idiot Number Seven of 2008
I live in a semi-rural area (Weyauwega, Wisconsin). We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! - I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
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STAY ALERT! They walk among us... and they REPRODUCE...!!!

Oops...

In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating fromNorthwestern University.

On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.

Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo. As he approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter was standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.

Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed his stupid *ss against the railing, killing him instantly.

Probably wasn't the same elephant...

Snow

December 8, 6:00 PM
It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!

December 9
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had! Shoveled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life!

December 12
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment! My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.

December 14
Snow, lovely snow! 8 inches last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.

December 15
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.

December 16
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *ss on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.

December 17
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.

December 20
Electricity is back on, but had another 14 inches of the d*mn stuff last night. More shoveling! Took all day. The damn snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.

December 22
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white crap fell today, and it's so cold, it probably won't melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to pee. By the time I got undressed, peed and dressed again. I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think the *sshole is lying.

December 23
Only 2 inches of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is she, nuts?!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.

December 24
6 inches - Snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a b*tch who drives that snow plow, I'll drag him through the snow by his balls and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at a 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.

December 25
Merry (bleep) Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop tonight - Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God, I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's a bloomin' idiot. If I have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the microwave.

December 26
Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.

December 27
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze; plumber came after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to replace all my pipes.

December 28
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. The B*TCH is driving me crazy!!!

December 29
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it could cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?

December 30
Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, and now he is suing me for a million dollars, not only for the beating I gave him, but also for trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his *ss. The wife went home to her mother. Nine more inches predicted.

December 31
I set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.

January 8
Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to this bed?

(Thanks, Duane!)

Sunday Paper

For all of us who are seniors - for all of you who know seniors - and for all of you who will be seniors. It pays to be able to laugh about it when you are!

And, speaking of senior moments: 'WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?' the irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded, wanting to know where her Sunday edition was.

'Ma'am,' said the newspaper employee, 'today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on Sunday.'

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition. as she was heard to mutter, 'Well, that's why no one was at church today.'

Happy New Year All!

2009 Contract

After serious & cautious consideration . . .

Your contract of friendship has been renewed for the New Year 2009!

It was a very hard decision to make. So try not to screw it up!!!

My Wish for You in 2009

May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal your debts.

May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet of $100 bills.

May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!

May your clothes smell of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy.

May the problems you had forget your home address!

In simple words . . . May 2009 be the best year of your life!!!