Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Observations

Life Observations:

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

20. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

21. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

22. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

23. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

24. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

25. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

26. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?

27. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

28. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

29. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Monday, April 26, 2010

Cool!


Is this not perfect?!

Friday, April 23, 2010

TGIF


So glad it's Friday. It's been one hectic week at work!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Happy AA Day!


Happy Administrative Assistant, Secretary, Executive Secretary, Jill-Of-All-Trades Day!!

Monday, April 19, 2010

Magic!

I can't understand a word they are saying, but the video is absolutely amazing!

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=hwVy_2eOfsE#t=78

p.s. Got this from my Senior Moment newsletter. Thanks, Tom!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Hello!


I'm going to have to get better at this. I was doing all right for quite awhile. I posted every day. I was funny. I was witty. Or so I like to think. :-)


Then came Facebook. And cows. And fish. And tropical islands. And Bejewelled. And zoos.


And all a lot of my family and friends were on Facebook. It's my great-niece's fault I'm on Facebook. She invited me. Then my nephew (her Dad) was on Facebook. Then my sister was on Facebook. The rest, as they say, is history.


I love my blog. I love all of my blog friends. They feel like family. I am going to get better at this once again. I am hoping that you haven't stopped dropping by.


The sun is out today. It is quite nippy for this time of year (at the moment 37º) but with a promise of a high of around 57º today. I think I will clean out the bird bath and put some water in it -- not full just in case it gets cold enough to freeze. The blue jays were out there looking for a drink of water this morning. Maybe we'll put some sunflower seeds out there for them, too. Actually, it's the squirrels that eat most of the sunflower seeds -- the little pigs. But they ARE cute. There are 3 or 4 of them. They've got to eat too! I am also going to have to start taking pictures again. I don't have a fancy camera (it's a Kodak Advantix), but I can get the pictures put on a CD so that I can put them on the computer and then put them on here. The ship has sort of sailed on the spring flowers -- although quite a few of them are still in bloom. I always admire all the photographs of my blog friends. Well, enough rambling.


I am hoping it is sunny wherever you are and you have a wonderful day no matter what it is you are going to do!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Works for Me!


I just can't figure out where the days go.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Happy Birthday!


He doesn't look like this any more. Today he turned 16. Where has the time gone?
Happy Birthday, Devin Michael! XO
Love, Grandma

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Fascination


I have never understood a dog's fascination with the littler box. Ewww!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Saturday, April 3, 2010

6 Lesson Management Course

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.

The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.

When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.

Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.

When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.

'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.

They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.

'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5:

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6:

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Rabbits


It's supposed to be 78º today!