What this thing is still active?
16 years ago
Friday, December 31, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Snicker
WOMEN'S REVENGE
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items
The woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control
For a television set in her purse.'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked. 'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items
The woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control
For a television set in her purse.'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked. 'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Friday, November 5, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
And then there's this...
A young boy appeared before the Family Court Judge in a divorce case.
The Judge asked the nervous youngster if he wanted to live with his mother.
"NO" said the boy, "she beats me."
The Judge then asked: "Oh, so you want to live with your father?"
Again, the little boy said "NO, he beats me too!"
This greatly disturbed and saddened the Judge.
"Well," he replied, "who WOULD you prefer to live with?"
The boy got a big grin on his face and answered quite loudly: "I want to go live with the Detroit Lions! They don't beat ANYBODY!"
The Judge asked the nervous youngster if he wanted to live with his mother.
"NO" said the boy, "she beats me."
The Judge then asked: "Oh, so you want to live with your father?"
Again, the little boy said "NO, he beats me too!"
This greatly disturbed and saddened the Judge.
"Well," he replied, "who WOULD you prefer to live with?"
The boy got a big grin on his face and answered quite loudly: "I want to go live with the Detroit Lions! They don't beat ANYBODY!"
Friday, October 8, 2010
One Wish?
I met a fairy today that granted me one wish.
"I want to live forever,” I said.
"Sorry" said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!
"Fine" I said, "I want to die after the Lions win the Super Bowl!"
"You crafty devil," said the fairy.
"I want to live forever,” I said.
"Sorry" said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that!
"Fine" I said, "I want to die after the Lions win the Super Bowl!"
"You crafty devil," said the fairy.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Hummingbirds
This is pretty amazing! Enjoy!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=hjnc1kHMDDo&feature=player_embedded
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=hjnc1kHMDDo&feature=player_embedded
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Special Day
Today would have been my sister's 60th wedding anniversary.
Sadly, my brother-in-law passed away 4 years ago.
And my wonderful, funny, smart, fun-loving sister is slipping away into another world of her own where she can't remember who you are or where she is.
But I wanted to honor happier times here for her whether she knows it or not.
I love you, Sissy. ♥
Sadly, my brother-in-law passed away 4 years ago.
And my wonderful, funny, smart, fun-loving sister is slipping away into another world of her own where she can't remember who you are or where she is.
But I wanted to honor happier times here for her whether she knows it or not.
I love you, Sissy. ♥
Monday, September 6, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Amazing!
You are going to love this!
http://www.coolestone.com/media/1438/Bach-Duo-Playing-Piano-With-Their-Feet/
http://www.coolestone.com/media/1438/Bach-Duo-Playing-Piano-With-Their-Feet/
Saturday, September 4, 2010
An Aging Couple
This is a story of an aging couple
Told by their son who was
President of NBC NEWS.
This is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large and small and president of NBC News. In 1997, he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing. It is well worth reading, and a few good chuckles are guaranteed.
Here goes...
My father never drove a car. Well, that's not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car.
He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.
"In those days," he told me when he was in his 90s, "to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it."
At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in: "Oh, bull sh*t!" she said. "He hit a horse."
"Well," my father said, "there was that, too."
So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.
My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines , would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.
My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. "No one in the family drives," my mother would explain, and that was that.
But, sometimes, my father would say, "But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we'll get one." It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us would turn 16 first.
But, sure enough , my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown.
It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car.
Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it didn't make sense to my mother.
So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father's idea. "Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?" I remember him saying more than once.
For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.
Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage. (Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)
He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin's Church.
She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home.
If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests "Father Fast" and "Father Slow."
After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: "The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored."
If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, "Do you want to know the secret of a long life?"
"I guess so," I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.
"No left turns," he said.
"What?" I asked.
"No left turns," he repeated. "Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic.
As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn."
"What?" I said again.
"No left turns," he said. "Think about it.. Three rights are the same as a left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights."
"You're kidding!" I said, and I turned to my mother for support.
"No," she said, "your father is right. We make three rights. It works."
But then she added: "Except when your father loses count.
"I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.
"Loses count?" I asked.
"Yes," my father admitted, "that sometimes happens. But it's not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you're okay again."
I couldn't resist. "Do you ever go for 11?" I asked.
"No," he said "If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another day or another week."
My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90.
She lived four more years, until 2003. My father died the next year, at 102.
They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)
He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.
One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.
A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, "You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred." At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, "You know, I'm probably not going to live much longer."
"You're probably right," I said.
"Why would you say that?" He countered, somewhat irritated.
"Because you're 102 years old," I said..
"Yes," he said, "you're right." He stayed in bed all the next day.
That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night.
He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said: "I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet"
An hour or so later, he spoke his last words:"I want you to know," he said, clearly and lucidly, "that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have."
A short time later, he died.
I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long.I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life,
Or because he quit taking left turns.
"Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance,take it & if it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it."
ENJOY LIFE NOW - IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE!
Told by their son who was
President of NBC NEWS.
This is a wonderful piece by Michael Gartner, editor of newspapers large and small and president of NBC News. In 1997, he won the Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing. It is well worth reading, and a few good chuckles are guaranteed.
Here goes...
My father never drove a car. Well, that's not quite right. I should say I never saw him drive a car.
He quit driving in 1927, when he was 25 years old, and the last car he drove was a 1926 Whippet.
"In those days," he told me when he was in his 90s, "to drive a car you had to do things with your hands, and do things with your feet, and look every which way, and I decided you could walk through life and enjoy it or drive through life and miss it."
At which point my mother, a sometimes salty Irishwoman, chimed in: "Oh, bull sh*t!" she said. "He hit a horse."
"Well," my father said, "there was that, too."
So my brother and I grew up in a household without a car. The neighbors all had cars -- the Kollingses next door had a green 1941 Dodge, the VanLaninghams across the street a gray 1936 Plymouth, the Hopsons two doors down a black 1941 Ford -- but we had none.
My father, a newspaperman in Des Moines , would take the streetcar to work and, often as not, walk the 3 miles home. If he took the streetcar home, my mother and brother and I would walk the three blocks to the streetcar stop, meet him and walk home together.
My brother, David, was born in 1935, and I was born in 1938, and sometimes, at dinner, we'd ask how come all the neighbors had cars but we had none. "No one in the family drives," my mother would explain, and that was that.
But, sometimes, my father would say, "But as soon as one of you boys turns 16, we'll get one." It was as if he wasn't sure which one of us would turn 16 first.
But, sure enough , my brother turned 16 before I did, so in 1951 my parents bought a used 1950 Chevrolet from a friend who ran the parts department at a Chevy dealership downtown.
It was a four-door, white model, stick shift, fender skirts, loaded with everything, and, since my parents didn't drive, it more or less became my brother's car.
Having a car but not being able to drive didn't bother my father, but it didn't make sense to my mother.
So in 1952, when she was 43 years old, she asked a friend to teach her to drive. She learned in a nearby cemetery, the place where I learned to drive the following year and where, a generation later, I took my two sons to practice driving. The cemetery probably was my father's idea. "Who can your mother hurt in the cemetery?" I remember him saying more than once.
For the next 45 years or so, until she was 90, my mother was the driver in the family. Neither she nor my father had any sense of direction, but he loaded up on maps -- though they seldom left the city limits -- and appointed himself navigator. It seemed to work.
Still, they both continued to walk a lot. My mother was a devout Catholic, and my father an equally devout agnostic, an arrangement that didn't seem to bother either of them through their 75 years of marriage. (Yes, 75 years, and they were deeply in love the entire time.)
He retired when he was 70, and nearly every morning for the next 20 years or so, he would walk with her the mile to St. Augustin's Church.
She would walk down and sit in the front pew, and he would wait in the back until he saw which of the parish's two priests was on duty that morning. If it was the pastor, my father then would go out and take a 2-mile walk, meeting my mother at the end of the service and walking her home.
If it was the assistant pastor, he'd take just a 1-mile walk and then head back to the church. He called the priests "Father Fast" and "Father Slow."
After he retired, my father almost always accompanied my mother whenever she drove anywhere, even if he had no reason to go along. If she were going to the beauty parlor, he'd sit in the car and read, or go take a stroll or, if it was summer, have her keep the engine running so he could listen to the Cubs game on the radio. In the evening, then, when I'd stop by, he'd explain: "The Cubs lost again. The millionaire on second base made a bad throw to the millionaire on first base, so the multimillionaire on third base scored."
If she were going to the grocery store, he would go along to carry the bags out -- and to make sure she loaded up on ice cream. As I said, he was always the navigator, and once, when he was 95 and she was 88 and still driving, he said to me, "Do you want to know the secret of a long life?"
"I guess so," I said, knowing it probably would be something bizarre.
"No left turns," he said.
"What?" I asked.
"No left turns," he repeated. "Several years ago, your mother and I read an article that said most accidents that old people are in happen when they turn left in front of oncoming traffic.
As you get older, your eyesight worsens, and you can lose your depth perception, it said. So your mother and I decided never again to make a left turn."
"What?" I said again.
"No left turns," he said. "Think about it.. Three rights are the same as a left, and that's a lot safer. So we always make three rights."
"You're kidding!" I said, and I turned to my mother for support.
"No," she said, "your father is right. We make three rights. It works."
But then she added: "Except when your father loses count.
"I was driving at the time, and I almost drove off the road as I started laughing.
"Loses count?" I asked.
"Yes," my father admitted, "that sometimes happens. But it's not a problem. You just make seven rights, and you're okay again."
I couldn't resist. "Do you ever go for 11?" I asked.
"No," he said "If we miss it at seven, we just come home and call it a bad day. Besides, nothing in life is so important it can't be put off another day or another week."
My mother was never in an accident, but one evening she handed me her car keys and said she had decided to quit driving. That was in 1999, when she was 90.
She lived four more years, until 2003. My father died the next year, at 102.
They both died in the bungalow they had moved into in 1937 and bought a few years later for $3,000. (Sixty years later, my brother and I paid $8,000 to have a shower put in the tiny bathroom -- the house had never had one. My father would have died then and there if he knew the shower cost nearly three times what he paid for the house.)
He continued to walk daily -- he had me get him a treadmill when he was 101 because he was afraid he'd fall on the icy sidewalks but wanted to keep exercising -- and he was of sound mind and sound body until the moment he died.
One September afternoon in 2004, he and my son went with me when I had to give a talk in a neighboring town, and it was clear to all three of us that he was wearing out, though we had the usual wide-ranging conversation about politics and newspapers and things in the news.
A few weeks earlier, he had told my son, "You know, Mike, the first hundred years are a lot easier than the second hundred." At one point in our drive that Saturday, he said, "You know, I'm probably not going to live much longer."
"You're probably right," I said.
"Why would you say that?" He countered, somewhat irritated.
"Because you're 102 years old," I said..
"Yes," he said, "you're right." He stayed in bed all the next day.
That night, I suggested to my son and daughter that we sit up with him through the night.
He appreciated it, he said, though at one point, apparently seeing us look gloomy, he said: "I would like to make an announcement. No one in this room is dead yet"
An hour or so later, he spoke his last words:"I want you to know," he said, clearly and lucidly, "that I am in no pain. I am very comfortable. And I have had as happy a life as anyone on this earth could ever have."
A short time later, he died.
I miss him a lot, and I think about him a lot. I've wondered now and then how it was that my family and I were so lucky that he lived so long.I can't figure out if it was because he walked through life,
Or because he quit taking left turns.
"Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right. Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance,take it & if it changes your life, let it. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would most likely be worth it."
ENJOY LIFE NOW - IT HAS AN EXPIRATION DATE!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
I Don't Know Why.
1. Is it a good thing if a vacuum cleaner really sucks?
2. Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?
3. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
4. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What the heck is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and “wise guy” opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
2. Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?
3. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
4. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What the heck is a whack?
6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
11. Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?
12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
13. Why are a "wise man" and “wise guy” opposites?
14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
Monday, August 16, 2010
Thought For the Day
A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.
A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.
Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"
The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way." I wrote: "Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it." Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind.
Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.
The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling. And even more beautiful, is knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!
If you appreciate this message, please share. You may touch someone's heart today and forever. Enjoy your week with a heart of gratitude.
A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.
Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"
The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way." I wrote: "Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it." Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind.
Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?
Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.
The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling. And even more beautiful, is knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!
If you appreciate this message, please share. You may touch someone's heart today and forever. Enjoy your week with a heart of gratitude.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Exercise for People Over 50
I can't help it. I've just got to post this exercise. It's great!!
EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room ateach side.
With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute,and then relax.
Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags. Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)
After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
*grin*
EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room ateach side.
With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute,and then relax.
Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags. Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)
After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
*grin*
Friday, August 13, 2010
Holy Cow!
Where did the days go? I have been a bad blogger. Hope you are staying cool!
Here is a little something for any who stop by...
Happy Friday!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
3900 Saturdays
My favorite sister-in-law sent me this. I thought it was something great to share.
Take the time to read this...well worth the time
'3900 Saturdays'
The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.
A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those Lessons that life seems to hand you from time totime. Let me tell you about it:
I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind, he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whom-ever he was talking with something about 'a thousand marbles..' I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say....
Well, Bill, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's 'dance recital' he continued. 'Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities.' And that's when he began to explain his theory of a 'thousand marbles.'
'You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.
'Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part.
It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail', he went on, 'and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays.' 'I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear.'
'Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life.
There's nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your prioritiesstraight .'
'Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time.. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time.'
'It was nice to meet you Bill, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75 Year old Man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!'
You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter.
Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. 'C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast.' 'What brought this on?' she asked with a smile. 'Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles.
A friend sent this to me, so I to you, my friend.
And so, as one smart bear once said.....'If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.' - Winnie the Pooh.
Pass this on to all of your FRIENDS, even if it means sending it to the person that sent it to you.
And if you receive this e-mail many times from many different people, it only means that you have many FRIENDS.
And if you get it but once, do not be discouraged for you will know that you have at least one good friend...
And that would be ME.
Take the time to read this...well worth the time
'3900 Saturdays'
The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday mornings. Perhaps it's the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it's the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.
A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those Lessons that life seems to hand you from time totime. Let me tell you about it:
I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind, he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whom-ever he was talking with something about 'a thousand marbles..' I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say....
Well, Bill, it sure sounds like you're busy with your job. I'm sure they pay you well but it's a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It's too bad you missed your daughter's 'dance recital' he continued. 'Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities.' And that's when he began to explain his theory of a 'thousand marbles.'
'You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.
'Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I'm getting to the important part.
It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail', he went on, 'and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays.' 'I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1000 marbles I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear.'
'Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life.
There's nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your prioritiesstraight .'
'Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign-off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time.. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time.'
'It was nice to meet you Bill, I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75 Year old Man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!'
You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter.
Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. 'C'mon honey, I'm taking you and the kids to breakfast.' 'What brought this on?' she asked with a smile. 'Oh, nothing special, it's just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we're out? I need to buy some marbles.
A friend sent this to me, so I to you, my friend.
And so, as one smart bear once said.....'If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.' - Winnie the Pooh.
Pass this on to all of your FRIENDS, even if it means sending it to the person that sent it to you.
And if you receive this e-mail many times from many different people, it only means that you have many FRIENDS.
And if you get it but once, do not be discouraged for you will know that you have at least one good friend...
And that would be ME.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Texas Department of Labor
A man owned a small ranch near San Antonio. The Texas Dept of Labor Claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.
"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.
"Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 20 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.
The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board.
Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."
"That's the guy I want to talk to......the half-wit," Says the agent.
"That would be me," replied the farmer.
"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.
"Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for 20 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.
The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board.
Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."
"That's the guy I want to talk to......the half-wit," Says the agent.
"That would be me," replied the farmer.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The New Rooster
John's Chicken Farm John was in the egg business. He had several hundred young layer hens, called pullets, and ten roosters to fertilize them.
He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
John's favorite rooster, Obama, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed Obama's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To John's amazement, Obama had thought of a way to do it without work, he had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of Obama, he entered him in the Chicago County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded Obama the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
Clearly Obama was a politician. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
Vote carefully next fall, the bells are not always audible.
He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.
Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
John's favorite rooster, Obama, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed Obama's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To John's amazement, Obama had thought of a way to do it without work, he had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.
John was so proud of Obama, he entered him in the Chicago County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded Obama the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.
Clearly Obama was a politician. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.
Vote carefully next fall, the bells are not always audible.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Family Circus
I don't know about anyone else, but I still haven't figure out what I'm plannin' to turn into when I grow up! LOL
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Cheyenne
'Watch out! You nearly broadsided that car!' My father yelled at me. 'Can't you do anything right?' Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle.
'I saw the car, Dad.. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving.' My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.
Dad glared at me, then, turned away and settled back. At home, I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil.
What could I do about him?
Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon . He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess.
The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day, I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.
Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived.
But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned and then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.
My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust. Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon, I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session, he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind. But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.
The next day, I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered. In vain. Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, 'I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article.' I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.
I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one, but rejected one after the other for various reasons, too big, too small, too much hair. As I neared the last pen, a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.
I pointed to the dog. 'Can you tell me about him?' The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement..
'He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him; that was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow.' He gestured helplessly.
As the words sank in, I turned to the man in horror. 'You mean you're going to kill him?'
'Ma'am,' he said gently, 'that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog.'
I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. 'I'll take him,' I said.
I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house, I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch.
'Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!' I said excitedly.
Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. 'If I had wanted a dog, I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it' Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.
Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples.
'You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!' Dad ignored me.. 'Did you hear me, Dad?' I screamed. At those words, Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate.
We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when, suddenly, the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him.. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.
Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently.. Then, Dad was on his knees, hugging the animal.
It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne . Together, he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet.
Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then, late one night, I was startled to feel Cheyenne 's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe, and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.
Two days later, my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.
The morning of Dad's funeral dawned, overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life. And, then, the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. 'Be not forgetful to entertain strangers.'
'I've often thanked God for sending that angel,' he said.
For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article.
Cheyenne's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter, his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father, and the proximity of their deaths. And, suddenly, I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all. Life is too short for drama & petty things, so laugh hard, love truly, and forgive quickly. Live While You Are Alive. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.
And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares? But do share this with someone... Lost time can never be found.
'I saw the car, Dad.. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving.' My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt.
Dad glared at me, then, turned away and settled back. At home, I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil.
What could I do about him?
Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon . He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess.
The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day, I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.
Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived.
But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned and then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.
My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust. Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon, I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue. Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session, he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind. But the months wore on and God was silent. Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it.
The next day, I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem to each of the sympathetic voices that answered. In vain. Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, 'I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article.' I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home. All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.
I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one, but rejected one after the other for various reasons, too big, too small, too much hair. As I neared the last pen, a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.
I pointed to the dog. 'Can you tell me about him?' The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement..
'He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him; that was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow.' He gestured helplessly.
As the words sank in, I turned to the man in horror. 'You mean you're going to kill him?'
'Ma'am,' he said gently, 'that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog.'
I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. 'I'll take him,' I said.
I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house, I honked the horn twice. I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch.
'Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!' I said excitedly.
Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. 'If I had wanted a dog, I would have gotten one. And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it' Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.
Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples.
'You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!' Dad ignored me.. 'Did you hear me, Dad?' I screamed. At those words, Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate.
We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when, suddenly, the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him.. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.
Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently.. Then, Dad was on his knees, hugging the animal.
It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship. Dad named the pointer Cheyenne . Together, he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet.
Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then, late one night, I was startled to feel Cheyenne 's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe, and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.
Two days later, my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.
The morning of Dad's funeral dawned, overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church. The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life. And, then, the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. 'Be not forgetful to entertain strangers.'
'I've often thanked God for sending that angel,' he said.
For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article.
Cheyenne's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter, his calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father, and the proximity of their deaths. And, suddenly, I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all. Life is too short for drama & petty things, so laugh hard, love truly, and forgive quickly. Live While You Are Alive. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.
And if you don't send this to at least 4 people - who cares? But do share this with someone... Lost time can never be found.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Stupidity at its finest.
Could there really be someone out there this stupid?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtFdz5PYvRg&feature=player_embedded
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RtFdz5PYvRg&feature=player_embedded
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Because of Love
A good friend of mine sent me this. I found it beautiful and wish to share. I don't care whether it is true or not. At the very bottom of this message is a small request.
(Please read all the way to the end)
A brother and sister had made their usual hurried, obligatory pre- Christmas visit to the little farm where dwelt their elderly parents with their small herd of horses. The farm was where they had grown up and had been named Lone Pine Farm because of the huge pine, which topped the hill behind the farm. Through the years the tree had become a talisman to the old man and his wife, and a landmark in the countryside. The young siblings had fond memories of their childhood here, but the city hustle and bustle added more excitement to their lives, and called them away to a different life.
The old folks no longer showed their horses, for the years had taken their toll, and getting out to the barn on those frosty mornings was getting harder, but it gave them a reason to get up in the mornings and a reason to live. They sold a few foals each year, and the horses were their reason for joy in the morning and contentment at day's end.
Angry, as they prepared to leave, the young couple confronted the old folks "Why do you not at least dispose of The Old One." She is no longer of use to you. It's been years since you've had foals from her. You should cut corners and save so you can have more for yourselves. How can this old worn out horse bring you anything but expense and work? Why do you keep her anyway?"
The old man looked down at his worn boots, holes in the toes, scuffed at the barn floor and replied, " Yes, I could use a pair of new boots. His arm slid defensively about the Old One's neck as he drew her near with gentle caressing he rubbed her softly behind her ears. He replied softly, "We keep her because of love. Nothing else, just love."
Baffled and irritated, the young folks wished the old man and his wife a Merry Christmas and headed back toward the city as darkness stole through the valley. The old couple shook their heads in sorrow that it had not been a happy visit. A tear fell upon their cheeks.. How is it that these young folks do not understand the peace of the love that filled their hearts?
So it was, that because of the unhappy leave-taking, no one noticed the insulation smoldering on the frayed wires in the old barn. None saw the first spark fall. None but the "Old One".
In a matter of minutes, the whole barn was ablaze and the hungry flames were licking at the loft full of hay. With a cry of horror and despair, the old man shouted to his wife to call for help as he raced to the barn to save their beloved horses. But the flames were roaring now, and the blazing heat drove him back. He sank sobbing to the ground, helpless before the fire's fury. His wife back from calling for help cradled him in her arms, clinging to each other, they wept at their loss.
By the time the fire department arrived, only smoking, glowing ruins were left, and the old man and his wife, exhausted from their grief, huddled together before the barn. They were speechless as they rose from the cold snow covered ground. They nodded thanks to the firemen as there was nothing anyone could do now. The old man turned to his wife, resting her white head upon his shoulders as his shaking old hands clumsily dried her tears with a frayed red bandana. Brokenly he whispered, "We have lost much, but God has spared our home on this eve of Christmas. Let us gather strength and climb the hill to the old pine where we have sought comfort in times of despair. We will look down upon our home and give thanks to God that it has been spared and pray for our beloved most precious gifts that have been taken from us.
And so, he took her by the hand and slowly helped her up the snowy hill as he brushed aside his own tears with the back of his old and withered hand.
The journey up the hill was hard for their old bodies in the steep snow. As they stepped over the little knoll at the crest of the hill, they paused to rest, looking up to the top of the hill the old couple gasped and fell to their knees in amazement at the incredible beauty before them.
Seemingly, every glorious, brilliant star in the heavens was caught up in the glittering, snow-frosted branches of their beloved pine, and it was aglow with heavenly candles. And poised on its top most bough, a crystal crescent moon glistened like spun glass. Never had a mere mortal created a Christmas tree such as this. They were breathless as the old man held his wife tighter in his arms.
Suddenly, the old man gave a cry of wonder and incredible joy. Amazed and mystified, he took his wife by the hand and pulled her forward. There, beneath the tree, in resplendent glory, a mist hovering over and glowing in the darkness was their Christmas gift. Shadows glistening in the night light.
Bedded down about the "Old One" close to the trunk of the tree, was the entire herd, safe.
At the first hint of smoke, she had pushed the door ajar with her muzzle and had led the horses through it. Slowly and with great dignity, never looking back, she had led them up the hill, stepping cautiously through the snow. The foals were frightened and dashed about. The skittish yearlings looked back at the crackling, hungry flames, and tucked their tails under them as they licked their lips and hopped like rabbits. The mares that were in foal with a new years crop of babies, pressed uneasily against the "Old One" as she moved calmly up the hill and to safety beneath the pine. And now, she lay among them and gazed at the faces of the old man and his wife. Those she loved she had not disappointed. Her body was brittle with years, tired from the climb, but the golden eyes were filled with devotion as she offered her gift---
Because of love. Only Because of love.
Tears flowed as the old couple shouted their praise and joy... And again the peace of love filled their hearts.
This is a true story. Willy Eagle
This is an Inspirational message sent to a small group of people.
My hope is that it will make your day just a little bit better.
Keep reading
A small request!
Cancer is a strange cell. Going along for years in remission and than one day it pops it head up again. Pray for the day there will be a permanent cure.
A SMALL REQUEST...
Just one line: Dear God, I pray for the cure of cancer. Amen
(Please read all the way to the end)
A brother and sister had made their usual hurried, obligatory pre- Christmas visit to the little farm where dwelt their elderly parents with their small herd of horses. The farm was where they had grown up and had been named Lone Pine Farm because of the huge pine, which topped the hill behind the farm. Through the years the tree had become a talisman to the old man and his wife, and a landmark in the countryside. The young siblings had fond memories of their childhood here, but the city hustle and bustle added more excitement to their lives, and called them away to a different life.
The old folks no longer showed their horses, for the years had taken their toll, and getting out to the barn on those frosty mornings was getting harder, but it gave them a reason to get up in the mornings and a reason to live. They sold a few foals each year, and the horses were their reason for joy in the morning and contentment at day's end.
Angry, as they prepared to leave, the young couple confronted the old folks "Why do you not at least dispose of The Old One." She is no longer of use to you. It's been years since you've had foals from her. You should cut corners and save so you can have more for yourselves. How can this old worn out horse bring you anything but expense and work? Why do you keep her anyway?"
The old man looked down at his worn boots, holes in the toes, scuffed at the barn floor and replied, " Yes, I could use a pair of new boots. His arm slid defensively about the Old One's neck as he drew her near with gentle caressing he rubbed her softly behind her ears. He replied softly, "We keep her because of love. Nothing else, just love."
Baffled and irritated, the young folks wished the old man and his wife a Merry Christmas and headed back toward the city as darkness stole through the valley. The old couple shook their heads in sorrow that it had not been a happy visit. A tear fell upon their cheeks.. How is it that these young folks do not understand the peace of the love that filled their hearts?
So it was, that because of the unhappy leave-taking, no one noticed the insulation smoldering on the frayed wires in the old barn. None saw the first spark fall. None but the "Old One".
In a matter of minutes, the whole barn was ablaze and the hungry flames were licking at the loft full of hay. With a cry of horror and despair, the old man shouted to his wife to call for help as he raced to the barn to save their beloved horses. But the flames were roaring now, and the blazing heat drove him back. He sank sobbing to the ground, helpless before the fire's fury. His wife back from calling for help cradled him in her arms, clinging to each other, they wept at their loss.
By the time the fire department arrived, only smoking, glowing ruins were left, and the old man and his wife, exhausted from their grief, huddled together before the barn. They were speechless as they rose from the cold snow covered ground. They nodded thanks to the firemen as there was nothing anyone could do now. The old man turned to his wife, resting her white head upon his shoulders as his shaking old hands clumsily dried her tears with a frayed red bandana. Brokenly he whispered, "We have lost much, but God has spared our home on this eve of Christmas. Let us gather strength and climb the hill to the old pine where we have sought comfort in times of despair. We will look down upon our home and give thanks to God that it has been spared and pray for our beloved most precious gifts that have been taken from us.
And so, he took her by the hand and slowly helped her up the snowy hill as he brushed aside his own tears with the back of his old and withered hand.
The journey up the hill was hard for their old bodies in the steep snow. As they stepped over the little knoll at the crest of the hill, they paused to rest, looking up to the top of the hill the old couple gasped and fell to their knees in amazement at the incredible beauty before them.
Seemingly, every glorious, brilliant star in the heavens was caught up in the glittering, snow-frosted branches of their beloved pine, and it was aglow with heavenly candles. And poised on its top most bough, a crystal crescent moon glistened like spun glass. Never had a mere mortal created a Christmas tree such as this. They were breathless as the old man held his wife tighter in his arms.
Suddenly, the old man gave a cry of wonder and incredible joy. Amazed and mystified, he took his wife by the hand and pulled her forward. There, beneath the tree, in resplendent glory, a mist hovering over and glowing in the darkness was their Christmas gift. Shadows glistening in the night light.
Bedded down about the "Old One" close to the trunk of the tree, was the entire herd, safe.
At the first hint of smoke, she had pushed the door ajar with her muzzle and had led the horses through it. Slowly and with great dignity, never looking back, she had led them up the hill, stepping cautiously through the snow. The foals were frightened and dashed about. The skittish yearlings looked back at the crackling, hungry flames, and tucked their tails under them as they licked their lips and hopped like rabbits. The mares that were in foal with a new years crop of babies, pressed uneasily against the "Old One" as she moved calmly up the hill and to safety beneath the pine. And now, she lay among them and gazed at the faces of the old man and his wife. Those she loved she had not disappointed. Her body was brittle with years, tired from the climb, but the golden eyes were filled with devotion as she offered her gift---
Because of love. Only Because of love.
Tears flowed as the old couple shouted their praise and joy... And again the peace of love filled their hearts.
This is a true story. Willy Eagle
This is an Inspirational message sent to a small group of people.
My hope is that it will make your day just a little bit better.
Keep reading
A small request!
Cancer is a strange cell. Going along for years in remission and than one day it pops it head up again. Pray for the day there will be a permanent cure.
A SMALL REQUEST...
Just one line: Dear God, I pray for the cure of cancer. Amen
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
"Let Me Help You Pack"
A good friend of mine sent me this and I enjoyed it so much I thought I would share!
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=x2G3wGVAnlQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=x2G3wGVAnlQ
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
Catechism
I can't remember if I've ever posted this link, but she is SO good I have to post it!
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=7Jrh_uuPmd0
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=7Jrh_uuPmd0
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Garbage Bags
Two Large Plastic Garbage Bags
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag."
"Oh, really? Darn!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me."
"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? "You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no", said the little old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden.. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes'.
That seems only fair" laughs the cop. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Well, you know, not everybody pays."
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.
Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag."
"Oh, really? Darn!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me."
"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that money? "You didn't steal it, did you?"
"Oh, no", said the little old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden.. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes'.
That seems only fair" laughs the cop. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"
"Well, you know, not everybody pays."
Monday, June 14, 2010
Michigan Memories
What you should know if you live in Michigan
I got a chuckle out of this.... I remember too much that is here!! Fun to read (even if you don't live here)
From 1910 to 1920, Hamtramck, Michigan grew from 3,589 to 45,615 residents, leading the nation in growth for that period.
During the lumber boom era, the row of saloons that lined Water Street in Bay City was known as 'Hell's Half Mile'.
In 1936, Escanaba, Michigan harvested and processed 100,000 sq. ft. of birds eye maple to be used in the English Luxury Liner, the Queen Mary.
When the territory of Michigan was created on Jan. 11, 1805, Detroit was chosen as its capital.
Bagley's Corner was the original name of Bloomfield Hills.
The world's only marble lighthouse is located on Belle Isle. ( Livingston Lighthouse)
Hog's Hollow was the original name of Utica, Mich.
There are over 11,500 lakes in Michigan.
The home offices of Life Savers Candy, Beech-Nut Gum, and Squirt soft drinks are in Holland, Michigan.
In 1870, Detroit became the nation's first telephone customers to have phone numbers assigned to them.
Charles A Lindbergh was born in Detroit on Feb. 4, 1902.
The Stars and Stripes first flew over Michigan soil on July 11, 1796.
In Sept. 1908, William C Durant organized several independent automobile plants into what was to become General Motors.
Michigan began charging an annual license fee of 50 cents in 1915.
Michigan 's first police woman began walking the beat in Detroit in 1893.
In 1942, the Davison Freeway in Detroit was completed and became the world's first urban freeway. Then gas was 5 cents a gal. and some stations gave you a free 6 pack of glasses with a fill up!!!
The first soft drink,(Vernor's Ginger Ale) was introduced by a Detroit Pharmacist, James A. Vernor, in 1866. Note: There were several 'elixirs' on the market at that time, including what would later be called Coca Cola. These contained alcohol, whereas Vernor's didn't. Thus the name 'soft' drink.
The intersection of Woodward Avenue and Grand Avenue in Detroit proudly displayed the world's first traffic light in 1915; leaders of 19 countries and 26 States came to check it out in the first six months.
In 1688, Father Jacques Marquette founded the first permanent settlement in what would later become Michigan.
The world's first shopping mall (Northland Mall), opened in the Detroit suburb of Southfield in 1954. Newspapers from overseas as well as this country wrote that it would never catch on ...... Duh?
The world's first painted highway center lines were featured in Trenton, Michigan in 1911. They were used in other towns and was how Centerline, Michigan got its name.
Michigan ranks Number 1 nationally in the production of dog sleds!!!
The nation's largest indoor/outdoor museum complex is Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village.
Opened in 1904, the nation's oldest freshwater aquarium is the Belle Isle Aquarium (sadly, now closed).
The onion is Michigan 's largest fresh-market vegetable crop.
YOU'RE AN OLD DETROITER (OR JUST OLD) if ........
You took a 'moonlight cruise' to Bob-Lo with Captain Bob-Lo or went to Edgewater Amusement Park. And you could stamp your girlfriends name on the coin from the vending machine.
You shopped at Hughes and Hatcher, B Siegel, Peck and Peck, Himelhochs, Robert Hall, Crowley's, Shoppers Fair, EJ Korvettes or Federals.
You rode the elevator at J. L. Hudson's, which was 'run' by an elevator operator, who sat on a stool.
You remember a Winkleman's and Sanders store in your neighborhood. Ahhh, that hot fudge sundae!!!
You remember the 'Big Snow', Buffalo Bob, Howdy Doody, Clarabelle, Phineas T. Bluster, Princess Summer-Fall-Winter-Spring.
You remember Twin Pines Dairy delivered milk and juice to the chute on the side of your house and Milky the Clown performed magic with the magic words 'Twin Pines. Plus Browns Dairy with the horse drawn milk wagon.
You remember the Good Humor man in a white uniform, ringing the bells as he rode down your street, on his trike.
You remember Olympia Stadium. Home of the red wings.
You remember when Vernors was made on Woodward Ave, with the wood floor and wooden benches to sit on while your watching the bottles being filled. A great place to take your date after a movie! And a bearded gnome was on the bottle.
You also remember that Coca Cola bottles had the town it was bottled in embossed on the bottom of the bottle. The person with the farthest away bottle wins the bet!!
Your Mom got groceries at Great Scott, Food Fair, Wrigley's or Chatham.
Your Mom saved Holden Red Stamps, S&H Green stamps, or Gold Bell Gift stamps, and you licked them into those little books.
Kresgee's and Woolworth's were 'Dime Stores.'
Cunningham’s Drug store.
"I will meet you under Kerns Clock!!
Michigan, United Artists, Uptown, Broadway Theaters, and don't forget the National Burlesque "Theater"!!!
You had an uncle in the furniture business, (Joshua Door).
You know who Bill Kennedy is.
You saw the Detroit Lions play football in Tiger Stadium.
You remember The Faygo Kid & Black Bart and the Faygo song. Or how about 'Which way did he go? He went for Faygo, old fashioned root beer.'
You watched Rita Bell's prize movies in the morning.
You remember Jack LeGoff and Van Patrick. What about Betty Bahr and the weather?
You remember Milky the Clown, Soupy Sales, Johnny Ginger, Poopdeck Paul, Captain Jolly, Sagebrush Shorty and maybe even Sergeant Satko Salute.
You visited the Wonder Bread Bakery and got to take home a mini loaf of bread.
Your address had a two-digit 'zone' before there were zip codes. Detroit 19, Michigan.
And you had a Townsand or Twinbrook Ecophene exchange. Did you have a two or four party line? Ohhh a private line!! Rich people eh!!
You remember 'Get on the right track at 9 mile and Mack, to get the best deal in town. Roy O'Brien, it's the best deal in town.'
You remember a laundry chute and a milk chute and a coal chute.
How about the icebox and iceman??
A fridge with the coils on top?
How about a gas Fridge?
You remember going to Detroit Edison with your Mom to exchange burned out light bulbs for new ones, for free!!
Oh, the memories!
I got a chuckle out of this.... I remember too much that is here!! Fun to read (even if you don't live here)
From 1910 to 1920, Hamtramck, Michigan grew from 3,589 to 45,615 residents, leading the nation in growth for that period.
During the lumber boom era, the row of saloons that lined Water Street in Bay City was known as 'Hell's Half Mile'.
In 1936, Escanaba, Michigan harvested and processed 100,000 sq. ft. of birds eye maple to be used in the English Luxury Liner, the Queen Mary.
When the territory of Michigan was created on Jan. 11, 1805, Detroit was chosen as its capital.
Bagley's Corner was the original name of Bloomfield Hills.
The world's only marble lighthouse is located on Belle Isle. ( Livingston Lighthouse)
Hog's Hollow was the original name of Utica, Mich.
There are over 11,500 lakes in Michigan.
The home offices of Life Savers Candy, Beech-Nut Gum, and Squirt soft drinks are in Holland, Michigan.
In 1870, Detroit became the nation's first telephone customers to have phone numbers assigned to them.
Charles A Lindbergh was born in Detroit on Feb. 4, 1902.
The Stars and Stripes first flew over Michigan soil on July 11, 1796.
In Sept. 1908, William C Durant organized several independent automobile plants into what was to become General Motors.
Michigan began charging an annual license fee of 50 cents in 1915.
Michigan 's first police woman began walking the beat in Detroit in 1893.
In 1942, the Davison Freeway in Detroit was completed and became the world's first urban freeway. Then gas was 5 cents a gal. and some stations gave you a free 6 pack of glasses with a fill up!!!
The first soft drink,(Vernor's Ginger Ale) was introduced by a Detroit Pharmacist, James A. Vernor, in 1866. Note: There were several 'elixirs' on the market at that time, including what would later be called Coca Cola. These contained alcohol, whereas Vernor's didn't. Thus the name 'soft' drink.
The intersection of Woodward Avenue and Grand Avenue in Detroit proudly displayed the world's first traffic light in 1915; leaders of 19 countries and 26 States came to check it out in the first six months.
In 1688, Father Jacques Marquette founded the first permanent settlement in what would later become Michigan.
The world's first shopping mall (Northland Mall), opened in the Detroit suburb of Southfield in 1954. Newspapers from overseas as well as this country wrote that it would never catch on ...... Duh?
The world's first painted highway center lines were featured in Trenton, Michigan in 1911. They were used in other towns and was how Centerline, Michigan got its name.
Michigan ranks Number 1 nationally in the production of dog sleds!!!
The nation's largest indoor/outdoor museum complex is Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village.
Opened in 1904, the nation's oldest freshwater aquarium is the Belle Isle Aquarium (sadly, now closed).
The onion is Michigan 's largest fresh-market vegetable crop.
YOU'RE AN OLD DETROITER (OR JUST OLD) if ........
You took a 'moonlight cruise' to Bob-Lo with Captain Bob-Lo or went to Edgewater Amusement Park. And you could stamp your girlfriends name on the coin from the vending machine.
You shopped at Hughes and Hatcher, B Siegel, Peck and Peck, Himelhochs, Robert Hall, Crowley's, Shoppers Fair, EJ Korvettes or Federals.
You rode the elevator at J. L. Hudson's, which was 'run' by an elevator operator, who sat on a stool.
You remember a Winkleman's and Sanders store in your neighborhood. Ahhh, that hot fudge sundae!!!
You remember the 'Big Snow', Buffalo Bob, Howdy Doody, Clarabelle, Phineas T. Bluster, Princess Summer-Fall-Winter-Spring.
You remember Twin Pines Dairy delivered milk and juice to the chute on the side of your house and Milky the Clown performed magic with the magic words 'Twin Pines. Plus Browns Dairy with the horse drawn milk wagon.
You remember the Good Humor man in a white uniform, ringing the bells as he rode down your street, on his trike.
You remember Olympia Stadium. Home of the red wings.
You remember when Vernors was made on Woodward Ave, with the wood floor and wooden benches to sit on while your watching the bottles being filled. A great place to take your date after a movie! And a bearded gnome was on the bottle.
You also remember that Coca Cola bottles had the town it was bottled in embossed on the bottom of the bottle. The person with the farthest away bottle wins the bet!!
Your Mom got groceries at Great Scott, Food Fair, Wrigley's or Chatham.
Your Mom saved Holden Red Stamps, S&H Green stamps, or Gold Bell Gift stamps, and you licked them into those little books.
Kresgee's and Woolworth's were 'Dime Stores.'
Cunningham’s Drug store.
"I will meet you under Kerns Clock!!
Michigan, United Artists, Uptown, Broadway Theaters, and don't forget the National Burlesque "Theater"!!!
You had an uncle in the furniture business, (Joshua Door).
You know who Bill Kennedy is.
You saw the Detroit Lions play football in Tiger Stadium.
You remember The Faygo Kid & Black Bart and the Faygo song. Or how about 'Which way did he go? He went for Faygo, old fashioned root beer.'
You watched Rita Bell's prize movies in the morning.
You remember Jack LeGoff and Van Patrick. What about Betty Bahr and the weather?
You remember Milky the Clown, Soupy Sales, Johnny Ginger, Poopdeck Paul, Captain Jolly, Sagebrush Shorty and maybe even Sergeant Satko Salute.
You visited the Wonder Bread Bakery and got to take home a mini loaf of bread.
Your address had a two-digit 'zone' before there were zip codes. Detroit 19, Michigan.
And you had a Townsand or Twinbrook Ecophene exchange. Did you have a two or four party line? Ohhh a private line!! Rich people eh!!
You remember 'Get on the right track at 9 mile and Mack, to get the best deal in town. Roy O'Brien, it's the best deal in town.'
You remember a laundry chute and a milk chute and a coal chute.
How about the icebox and iceman??
A fridge with the coils on top?
How about a gas Fridge?
You remember going to Detroit Edison with your Mom to exchange burned out light bulbs for new ones, for free!!
Oh, the memories!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Sneaky
This is hysterical! Enjoy! (You might have to copy and paste the path.)
http://www.flixxy.com/seagull-and-cat.htm
http://www.flixxy.com/seagull-and-cat.htm
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Something special
I received this from my sister-in-law. I want to pass it on to all of you because you definitely make a difference in my life.
http://www.blueribbonmovie.com/
http://www.blueribbonmovie.com/
Up the Creek
I thought you should know that
I found it...
You will be so pleased to receive this...... How many times have we been 'up there without one!'
My work is done.
I found it...
You will be so pleased to receive this...... How many times have we been 'up there without one!'
My work is done.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Political Advice
Advice from Curtis & Leroy:
Limit all US politicians to two terms;
One in office, one in prison.
Detroit and Chicago already do this.
One in office, one in prison.
Detroit and Chicago already do this.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Oldies
My friend sent me a link to a site called Oldies Television. Talk about a step back in time! There were some great shows on there that I used to love to watch!
Here's the link: http://oldiestelevision.com/
Enjoy!!
Here's the link: http://oldiestelevision.com/
Enjoy!!
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Maxine
MY LIVING WILL:
Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state,
dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'They got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my wine.
They are SO on my shit list ...
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Happy Memorial Day
In honor of all those who serve and have served who give us the freedom to be. Thank you.
On this Memorial Day I am full of sadness. Someone very special to me, my soul mate, has liver cancer and is not expected to live much longer. We used to answer each other's questions before they were asked and finish each other's sentences. He knew what was going on with me by just looking at me. We knew each other's hearts. In all the years we were married, I never had to return a gift he bought me. He never had to ask me what I wanted for my birthday, Christmas or our anniversary, nor I him. We just knew. We were married for 19 years and circumstances worked out that we were divorced. We've been divorced now for much longer than we were married. But there has never been a day in my life since meeting him that he has not been in my thoughts. Some days a whole lot stronger than others. I can't imagine life without him. I don't think that, even though we went to court and went before a judge and were divorced, that I ever truly felt in my heart divorced from him (even though it was my decision to do so).
My current husband does not understand this strong bond, and I'm sure he truly resents it. He cannot understand that I still care about my soul mate after all this time. But as my soul mate says, "It is what it is."
Sunday, May 23, 2010
The Daily Dish
I get a newsletter from South Beach Diet and every once in a while something strikes me as sounding SO good. This is one of them.
A Berry Delicious Chocolate Dessert
Savor the season and take advantage of spring’s freshest produce with a healthy, delicious berry dessert. These refreshing raspberry-filled chocolate cakes are rich in flavor and nutrients. There’s no better way to end a meal!
Flourless Chocolate-Raspberry Cakes (Phase 2)
Description
These adorable mini cakes are rich, moist, and very chocolaty — and they freeze well, making it easy to get a head start on a party or just to enjoy some cake from time to time without having to worry about portions.
Prep time: 15 minutesCook time: 15 minutes
Serves 12
Ingredients
3/4 cup bittersweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup trans-fat-free margarine
1/2 cup granular sugar substitute
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, sifted
3 large eggs
1/2 cup raspberries
Instructions
Position rack in middle of oven and heat to 375°F. Line a muffin tin with paper or foil liners.
Heat chocolate and margarine in a heavy saucepan over low heat until melted, about 4 minutes; stir to combine and remove from heat. Mix sugar substitute and cocoa powder in a medium mixing bowl; add eggs and whisk until combined. Whisk in chocolate mixture.
Scoop batter into the tin (about 2 1/2 tablespoons per muffin cap), gently press 3 raspberries halfway into each cake, and place the pan on a baking sheet. Bake, turning once halfway through, until a thin crust forms on top, 12 to 15 minutes. Cool on a wire rack and serve.
Nutritional information
Per serving:
140 calories
11 g fat (4 g sat)
11 g carbohydrate
3 g protein
2 g dietary fiber
80 mg sodium
A Berry Delicious Chocolate Dessert
Savor the season and take advantage of spring’s freshest produce with a healthy, delicious berry dessert. These refreshing raspberry-filled chocolate cakes are rich in flavor and nutrients. There’s no better way to end a meal!
Flourless Chocolate-Raspberry Cakes (Phase 2)
Description
These adorable mini cakes are rich, moist, and very chocolaty — and they freeze well, making it easy to get a head start on a party or just to enjoy some cake from time to time without having to worry about portions.
Prep time: 15 minutesCook time: 15 minutes
Serves 12
Ingredients
3/4 cup bittersweet chocolate chips
1/2 cup trans-fat-free margarine
1/2 cup granular sugar substitute
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, sifted
3 large eggs
1/2 cup raspberries
Instructions
Position rack in middle of oven and heat to 375°F. Line a muffin tin with paper or foil liners.
Heat chocolate and margarine in a heavy saucepan over low heat until melted, about 4 minutes; stir to combine and remove from heat. Mix sugar substitute and cocoa powder in a medium mixing bowl; add eggs and whisk until combined. Whisk in chocolate mixture.
Scoop batter into the tin (about 2 1/2 tablespoons per muffin cap), gently press 3 raspberries halfway into each cake, and place the pan on a baking sheet. Bake, turning once halfway through, until a thin crust forms on top, 12 to 15 minutes. Cool on a wire rack and serve.
Nutritional information
Per serving:
140 calories
11 g fat (4 g sat)
11 g carbohydrate
3 g protein
2 g dietary fiber
80 mg sodium
Monday, May 17, 2010
Digital Copy Machines
A friend of mine sent me this video. This is something I didn't know, and I'm pretty sure the only ones who know (besides the companies that manufacture these machines) are now the crooks.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC38D5am7go
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC38D5am7go
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Thought for the day
My girlfriend sent me this and I thought it was a great one to share!
Thought of the day:
Women are Angels
And when someone breaks our wings....
We simply continue to fly.........on a broomstick...
We are flexible like that!
Thought of the day:
Women are Angels
And when someone breaks our wings....
We simply continue to fly.........on a broomstick...
We are flexible like that!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Clothing Donation Scam
BEWARE OF THIS SCAM!!!!
Beware of Clothing Donation Scam I just received a call from a charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.I told them to buzz off! Anybody who fits in my clothes isn't starving!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Proofreading...
Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn't you say?
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter This one was caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Ya think? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far! -----------------------------------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy! ---------------------------------------------------------------
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! ---------------------- --------------------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial! -------------------------------------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect! ------------------------------------------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?! -----------------------------------------------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought! ----------------------------------------------------------------
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something! -----------------------------------------------------------------
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? ----------------------------------------
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces BatteryCharge
He probably IS the battery charge! ----------------------------------------------
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?! -----------------------------------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans! -------------------------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken? ****************************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again! ***************************************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall! *******************************************
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right? ***************************************************
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter This one was caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!! They put in a correction the next day.
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Ya think? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far! -----------------------------------------------------------
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy! ---------------------------------------------------------------
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's! ---------------------- --------------------------------
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial! -------------------------------------------------
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect! ------------------------------------------------------
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?! -----------------------------------------------------------------------
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought! ----------------------------------------------------------------
Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something! -----------------------------------------------------------------
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape? ----------------------------------------
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces BatteryCharge
He probably IS the battery charge! ----------------------------------------------
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?! -----------------------------------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans! -------------------------------------------------
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken? ****************************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again! ***************************************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall! *******************************************
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right? ***************************************************
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
This just in!
My sister-in-law sent me this. Well worth watching. This kid is SUPER!
http://www.angelfire.com/ak2/intelligencerreport/drummer.html
http://www.angelfire.com/ak2/intelligencerreport/drummer.html
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
May
Happy first day of May!
Today is also the first day of the ban on smoking in bars, restaurants, bowling alleys, etc. :-)
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Observations
Life Observations:
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
21. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
22. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
23. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
24. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
25. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
26. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
27. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
28. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
29. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello?), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
21. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
22. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
23. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
24. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
25. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
26. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?
27. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
28. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
29. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Happy AA Day!
Happy Administrative Assistant, Secretary, Executive Secretary, Jill-Of-All-Trades Day!!
Monday, April 19, 2010
Magic!
I can't understand a word they are saying, but the video is absolutely amazing!
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=hwVy_2eOfsE#t=78
p.s. Got this from my Senior Moment newsletter. Thanks, Tom!
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=hwVy_2eOfsE#t=78
p.s. Got this from my Senior Moment newsletter. Thanks, Tom!
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Hello!
I'm going to have to get better at this. I was doing all right for quite awhile. I posted every day. I was funny. I was witty. Or so I like to think. :-)
Then came Facebook. And cows. And fish. And tropical islands. And Bejewelled. And zoos.
And all a lot of my family and friends were on Facebook. It's my great-niece's fault I'm on Facebook. She invited me. Then my nephew (her Dad) was on Facebook. Then my sister was on Facebook. The rest, as they say, is history.
I love my blog. I love all of my blog friends. They feel like family. I am going to get better at this once again. I am hoping that you haven't stopped dropping by.
The sun is out today. It is quite nippy for this time of year (at the moment 37ยบ) but with a promise of a high of around 57ยบ today. I think I will clean out the bird bath and put some water in it -- not full just in case it gets cold enough to freeze. The blue jays were out there looking for a drink of water this morning. Maybe we'll put some sunflower seeds out there for them, too. Actually, it's the squirrels that eat most of the sunflower seeds -- the little pigs. But they ARE cute. There are 3 or 4 of them. They've got to eat too! I am also going to have to start taking pictures again. I don't have a fancy camera (it's a Kodak Advantix), but I can get the pictures put on a CD so that I can put them on the computer and then put them on here. The ship has sort of sailed on the spring flowers -- although quite a few of them are still in bloom. I always admire all the photographs of my blog friends. Well, enough rambling.
I am hoping it is sunny wherever you are and you have a wonderful day no matter what it is you are going to do!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Happy Birthday!
He doesn't look like this any more. Today he turned 16. Where has the time gone?
Happy Birthday, Devin Michael! XO
Love, Grandma
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
6 Lesson Management Course
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.' 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?' The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5:
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.' 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Sh*t might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh*t is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep sh*t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
I'm Suited For This!
1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned. Couldn't concentrate.
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it... couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.
11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.
15. SO, I TRIED Retirement AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.
5. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme.
6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it... couldn't cut the mustard.
7. My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy.
8. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience.
9. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. Tried hard but just didn't fit in.
10. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income.
11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining.
12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job.
13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it.
14. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.
15. SO, I TRIED Retirement AND I FOUND I'M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Cleaning Poem
Cleaning Poem
I asked the Lord to tell me
Why my house is such a mess
He asked if I'd been 'computering',
And I had to answer 'yes.'
He told me to get off my fanny,
And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up...
The smudges off my mouse.
I wiped and shined the topside.
That really did the trick...
I was just admiring my good work..
I didn't mean to 'click.'
But click, I did, and oops - I found
A real absorbing site
That I got SO way into it -
I was into it all night.
Nothing's changed except my mouse.
It's very, very shiny.
I guess my house will stay a mess....
While I sit here on my hiney.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
For All My Cooks
I get a newsletter from South Beach and this recipe was in it. I thought maybe all of my friends who cook would like to have this one. It's a healthy alternative to corned beef and cabbage for St. Patrick's Day! Bon Appetite`!
http://www.southbeachdiet.com/sbd/publicsite/healthy-st-patricks-day-recipe.aspx
http://www.southbeachdiet.com/sbd/publicsite/healthy-st-patricks-day-recipe.aspx
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Hysterical
This is So funny! Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Jrh_uuPmd0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Jrh_uuPmd0
Monday, March 8, 2010
Sunday, March 7, 2010
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