Education

Classes for Men

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED by Friday, June 6th 2008

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1

How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2

The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?

Round Table Discussion.

Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3

Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?

--Group Practice.

Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4

Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor

--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.

Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5

Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6

Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.

Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7

Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.

Open Forum Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8

Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.

Graphics and Audio Tapes.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9

Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM - Location to be determined

Class 10

Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?

Driving Simulations.

4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11

Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.

Online Classes and role-playing

Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12

How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion

Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.

Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13

How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays,

Anniversaries and Other Important Dates

and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.

Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.

Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14

The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.

Live Demonstration.

Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Something Interesting

This is pretty interesting! Enjoy!! (Thanks, Wanda.) I like what it tells you about yourself.

Click here: Memoriter (http://memoriter.net/flash/test.html)

Christian One Liners

1. Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
2. Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
3. Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.
4. It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
5. The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
6. When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
7. People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.
8. Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
9. Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
10. If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
11. God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
12. Some minds are like concrete thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
13. Peace starts with a smile.
14. I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?
15. A lot of church members who are singing 'Standing on the Promises' are just sitting on the premises.
16. We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
17. Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.
18. Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
19. Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
20. Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
21. Forbidden fruits create many jams.
22. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
23. God grades on the cross, not the curve.
24. God loves everyone, but probably prefers 'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts!'
25. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
26. He who angers you, controls you!
27. If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!
28. Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
29. The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
30. The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
31. We don't change the message, the message changes us.
32. You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
33. The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.

Thanks, Carol!

Michigan Facts

1. From 1910 to 1920, Hamtramck Michigan grew from 3,589 to 45,615 residents, leading the nation in growth forthat period.
2. During the lumber boom era, the row of saloons that lined Water Street in Bay City was known as 'Hell's Half Mile'.
3. In 1936, Escanaba, Michigan harvested and processed100,000 sq. ft. of bird's eye maple to be used in theEnglish Luxury Liner, the Queen Mary.
4. When the territory of Michigan was created on Jan. 11, 1805, Detroit was chosen as its capital.
5. Bagley's Corner was the original name of BloomfieldHills.
6. The world's only marble lighthouse is located on Belle Isle. (Livingston Lighthouse)
7. Hog's Hollow was the original name of Utica, Mich.
8. There are over 11,000 lakes in Michigan.
9. The home offices of Life Savers Candy, Beech-Nut Gum, and Squirt soft drinks are in Holland, Michigan.
10. In 1870, Detroit became the nation's first telephone customers to have phone numbers assigned to them.
11. Charles A Lindbergh was born in Detroit on Feb. 4,1902.
12. The Stars and Stripes first flew over Michigan soil on July 11, 1796.
13. In Sept. 1908, William C Durant organized several independent automobile plants into what was to becomeGeneral Motors.
14. Michigan began charging an annual license fee of 50 cents in 1905.
15. Michigan's first police woman began walking the beat in Detroit in 1893.
16. In 1942, the Davison Freeway in Detroit was completed and became the world's first urban freeway.
17. The first soft drink, (Vernor's Ginger Ale) was introduced by a Detroit Pharmacist, James A Vernor, in1866. Note: There were several 'elixirs' on the marketat that time, including what would later be called Coca Cola. These contained alcohol, whereas Vernor's didn't. Thus the name 'soft' drink.
18. The intersection of Woodward Avenue and Grand Avenue in Detroit proudly displayed the world's first traffic light in 1915.
19. In 1688, Father Jacques Marquette founded the first permanent settlement in what would later becomeMichigan.
20. The world's first shopping mall (Northland Mall), opened in the Detroit suburb of Southfield in 1954.
21. The world's first painted highway center lines were featured in Trenton, Mi. in 1911. They were used in other towns and was how Centerline, Mi. got its name.
22. Michigan ranks Number 1 nationally in the productionof dog sleds.
23. The nation's largest indoor/outdoor museum complex is Henry Ford Museum and Greenfield Village.
24. Opened in 1904, the nation's oldest freshwater aquarium is the Belle Isle Aquarium.
25. The onion is Michigan's largest fresh-market vegetable crop.
27. YOU'RE AN OLD DETROITER (OR JUST OLD) if ..........
28. You took a 'moonlight cruise' to Bob-Lo withCaptain Bob-Lo or went to Edgewater Amusement Park......
29. You shopped at Hughes and Hatcher, B Siegel, Peck and Peck, Himelhoch's, Robert Hall, Crowley's, Shoppers Fair, EJ Korvettes or Federals......
30. You rode the elevator at J. L. Hudson's, which was 'run' by an elevator operator......
31. You remember a Winkleman's and Sanders store in your neighborhood......
32. You remember the 'Big Snow', Buffalo Bob, Howdy Doody, Clarabelle, Phineas T. Bluster, Princess Summer-Fall-Winter-Spring......
33. You remember Twin Pines Dairy delivered milk and juice to the chute on the side of your house and Milky the Clown performed magic with the magic words 'TwinPines.'.....
34. You remember the Good Humor man in a white uniform, ringing the bells as he drove down your street......
35. You remember Olympia Stadium......
36. You remember when Vernors was made on Woodward Ave., and a bearded troll was on the bottle......
37. Your Mom got groceries at Great Scott, Food Fair, Wrigley's or Chatham......
38. Your Mom saved Holden Red Stamps, S&H Greenstamps, or Gold Bell Gift stamps, and you licked them into those little books......
39. Kresge's and Woolworth's were 'Dime Stores.'.....
40. You had an uncle in the furniture business (Joshua Door)......
41. You know who Bill Kennedy is......
42. You saw the Detroit Lions play football in Tiger Stadium......
43. You remember Black Bart and the Faygo song. Or how about 'Which way did he go? He went for Faygo, old fashioned root beer.'.....
44. You watched Rita Bell's prize movies in the morning......
45. You remember Jack LeGoff and Van Patrick......
46. You remember Milky the Clown, Soupy Sales, Johnny Ginger, Poopdeck Paul, Captain Jolly, Sagebrush Shorty and maybe even Sergeant Satko Salute......
47. You visited the Wonder Bread Bakery and got to take home a mini loaf of bread......
48. Your address had a two-digit 'zone' before there were zip codes. Detroit 19, Michigan......
49. You remember 'Get on the right track at 9 mile and Mack, to get the best deal in town. Roy O'Brien... it's the best deal in town.'.....
50. You remember a laundry chute and a milk chute and a coal chute......
51. You remember going to Detroit Edison with your Mom to exchange burned out light bulbs for new ones.

Tips For a Better Life

Thanks, Sissy!

TIPS FOR A BETTER LIFE IN 2008

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you have to.
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15 Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
18 Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. God heals almost everything.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34 No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!!!) Hey, I'm thinking of ya!
37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
40. Please forward this to everyone you care about.

May your troubles be less,
May your blessings be more,
May nothing but happiness come through your door! :)

Gas vs Printer Ink

The price of Gas versus Printer Ink

All these examples do NOT imply that gasoline is cheap; it just illustrates how outrageous some prices are.... You will be really shocked by the last one! (At least, I was...)

Compared with Gasoline......

Think a gallon of gas is expensive? This makes one think, and also puts things in perspective to other things we buy.

Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 ... $10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ..........$9.52 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 ..... $10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 ......... $10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 ...... $33.60 per gallon
Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 ... $178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 .. $123.20 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 ....... . $25.42 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 .....$84.48 per gallon

And this is the REAL KICKER...

Evian water 9 oz $1.49..$21.19 per gallon! $21.19 for WATER and the buyers don't even know the source (Evian spelled backwards is Naive).

Ever wonder why printers are so cheap? So they have you hooked for the ink. Someone calculated the cost of the ink at............... (you won't believe it....but it is true........) $5,200 a gallon (five thousand two hundred dollars)!

So, the next time you're at the pump,be glad your car doesn't run on water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid, Printer Ink!

Just a little humor to help ease the pain of your next trip to the pump...

Catholic Shampoo

While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section.

One asked the other if she would like a beer.

The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it. The first nun replied that she would handle that without a problem.

She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier had a surprised look, so the nun said, "This is for washing our hair."

Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer.

"The curlers are on me."

The Veterinarian

Thanks, Jan!

One Sunday, in counting the money in the weekly offering, the Pastor of a small church found a pink envelope containing $1,000. It happened again the next week!

The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw an elderly woman put the distinctive pink envelope on the plate. This went on for weeks until the pastor, overcome by
curiosity, approached her.

'Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,' he stated.

'Why yes,' she replied, 'every week my son sends me money, and I give some of it to the church.'

The pastor replied, 'That's wonderful. But $1000 is a lot, are you sure you can afford this? How much does he send you?'

The elderly woman answered, '$10,000 a week.'

The pastor was amazed. 'Your son is very successful; what does he do for a living?'

'He is a veterinarian,' she answered.

'That's an honorable profession, but I had no idea they made that much money,' the pastor said. 'Where does he practice?'

The woman answered proudly, 'In Nevada. He has two cat houses, one in Las Vegas, and one in Reno.'

Church Cat

Johnny's mother looked out the window and noticed him 'playing church' with their cat.He had the cat sitting quietly and he was preaching to it.

She smiled and went about her work.

A while later she heard loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny baptizing the cat in a tub of water.

She called out, 'Johnny, stop that! The cat is afraid of water!'

Johnny looked up at her and said, 'He should have thought about that before he joined my church.'

(Thanks, Avis!)

Absolutely Priceless

THIS IS TOO SWEET FOR WORDS!!!

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand. "That's a serious step," he said. "Have you thought it out completely?"

"Yes," his young son answered. "We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It's right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark."

"How about transportation?" the father asked.

"I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles," the little boy answered. The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, "What about babies? When you're married, you're liable to have babies, you know."

"We've thought about that, too," the little boy replied. "We're not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I'm going to step on it."

(Thanks, Bill!)

A Letter From Target...

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here."

Regards,

Tom Richards,
Target Manager

Weekend Wandering

authorblog: Weekend Wandering

The question is: Who was the most important person in your childhood?

Well, actually, there were 4. My mother and father, and my sister and brother-in-law.

My Dad taught me to have a strong sense of right and wrong, my mother did without to give me things I needed, and my sister and brother-in-law gave me some of the things my parents couldn't.

There are so many memories.

I think I am a stronger person today because there was never enough money so I learned to appreciate the things that I had because I knew there was sacrifice involved in me having them. It gave me a drive as I grew into a teenager and then an adult to give to others that have far less than I have. My life is rich beyond all measure because of those 4 very important people in my childhood. You cannot put a price on that.

NJ Cops

Two men were driving through New Jersey when they got pulled over by a NJ cop. The cop walked up and tapped on the window with his nightstick.

The driver rolled down the window and WHACK," the cop smacked him in the head with his nightstick.

"What the h*ll was that for?" the driver asked.

"You're in New Jersey, son," the cop answered. "When we pull you over in New Jersey, you better have your license ready by the time we get to your car."

"I'm sorry, officer, " the driver said, "I'm from New York and didn't know your laws here."

The cop runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean and gives the guy his license back.

The cop then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and "WHACK," the cop smacks him on the head with the nightstick.

"What'd you do that for?" the passenger demands.

"Just making your wish come true," replied the cop.

"Making WHAT wish come true?" the passenger asked.

"Because I know you New Yorkers," the cop says, "two miles down the road; you're gonna turn to your buddy and say....." I wish that *sshole would 've tried that sh*t with me!"

Dear Abby...

Dear Abby,

I am a 60-year-old woman who is married to a man who acts like he hates me. In public, he pretends he loves me and talks about how wonderful I am. But in private, he shakes his finger in my face and calls me the "B" word. He constantly tells me how uglyI am without make-up. I've tried everything, includinga face-lift, botox treatments, and a chin tuck. I even went on a diet and lost 20 pounds.

He quit his job a few years ago after having an affair with a woman in his office. He hasn't even looked for another job. We haven't slept together since I confronted him about the affair. He denied it, of course, but everybody knew it. It was humiliating. I believe he is still messing around.

While we both want to sell this house, we argue constantly about when to put it on the market. The house we want will be available in a few months. My husband wants to put our house on the market now. I think we should wait awhile. He has already started collecting boxes and packing up his stuff. Do you think he is planning to leave me?

Signed, Worried in NY

Dear Worried in NY:

I doubt it. He wants to move back into the White House as much as you do.

Smart Cat

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.

As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.

The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?"

"Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?"

Frustrated, the man answered, "Put the d*mn cat on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"

Gas

Hope it doesn't come to this!

Aprons

I don't think our kids know what an apron is.

The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath, but along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven. It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion was even used for cleaning out dirty ears .

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids. And when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it around her arms.

Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove. Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls. In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that 'old-time apron' that served so many purposes.

REMEMBER: Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw. (They would go crazy now trying to figure out how many germs was on that apron. I don't think I ever caught anything from a Apron.)

The Day God Spilled The Paint...

The east side of the Carrizo plain, in the Temblor Range,

about 50 miles due west of Bakersfield, California.

Photo taken by Barbara Mathews, May 14, 2005.

Nothing man can do could ever equal the glory of God's creations.

The Day GOD SPILLED THE PAINT!

The Interview With God...

This is awesome! Enjoy!

http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/popup-frame.html

Computers

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"'House,' for example, is feminine: 'la casa. 'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'"

One student asked, "What gender is 'computer?'"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher divided the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to determine the answer for themselves whether "computer" is a masculine or feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation. The men's group decided that "computer" is definitely a feminine noun, for the following reasons:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. (This gets better . . . )

The women's group, however, concluded that "computer" is definitely a masculine noun, because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data, but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

My windows are open!

Today is such a lovely day. The air smells so good. I can hear Harleys rumbling on the highway (it's a good sound to me) and the sound of classic cars as they are headed off to this show or that show (one of my favorite things to do -- schmooze through classic car shows). The birds are all in a twitter (I think they're courting) and the squirrel is filling his little face with the corn we've put out for him (so he'll leave the bird seed alone - HA, fat chance). We (well, actually hubby) raked up some of the leaves and some of the straw that I put down in the fall to keep the plants all snug and warm through the winter. It's suppose to rain (you can't imagine the number of people I heard complain about THAT today), but that's OK because you have to have rain in April for May flowers. My daffodils are blooming - HURRAY!!! All in all, I am happier than a clam! LOL